My reflection

It’s a really really odd feeling to go back and look at my own writing.  I find myself laughing at things that I meant to be seriously talking about and overall, judging my writing.  I guess I’m too much of a critic, but I always see something that could be improved.  A lot of the time I’m embarrassed at the fact that I put something out there for others to read.  Why did I think that topic was important enough to write about?  I don’t want to subject them to something that isn’t absolutely perfect.

And that’s totally irrational compared to the comments I get, usually positive and insightful.  I don’t know why I have this insecurity, this need for whatever I put out there to be perfect.

I think that might be why I’m having such a hard time with the repurposing essay.  The voice of the author from the publication that I’m shooting for is very different than one that I normally use when I write.  It always strikes me as odd when I get feedback that says that I have a strong voice because I’m not exactly sure how that happens.  It’s not that I’m purposely trying to sound a certain way, it just turns out like that.  I guess that is just truly a natural voice.  As I am writing the repurposing essay, I am learning that apparently I have a very strong voice because I am having such a hard time changing it to fit the needs of this assignment.

Speaking of assignments, I found that the blog post that I wrote on my own about writing things that interested me was the easiest to write and, in my opinion, the most interesting.  I was engaged in what I was writing and therefore I put in the extra effort to make the post really fun and engaging for the reader.  That’s when I do the best on assignments for school as well.  If I like the assignment and am struck with a really good idea, I get an A.

Even though I hate looking back on my pieces of writing, it’s a good thing to always seek to improve.  It only makes me better, though I may be decimating my self-esteem in the process.  I guess at the end of the day I have to know that I do have some talent in expressing my thoughts/ideas on paper and though I always want to improve, others aren’t judging my work nearly as hard as I am judging it myself.

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