I’ve decided to post my blog a lot earlier than I thought I would because of the surprising progress I had last night while starting on a little homework. I like to multi-task, especially while working out, so while I was running I tried to think about what I wanted to write for this upcoming paper. Maybe it was the endorphins, but for one of the few times in my life it was like I had an epiphany! Okay, I probably wouldn’t classify it as an epiphany, but it was exciting to actually be so productive while I was focusing on how many miles I had left before I was done.
I really figured out what I wanted to do when I thought about my history with writing – how it has developed through my education and what roles it has played. As soon as I got back to my apartment after running I started jotting down my ideas, almost in a map-like form (something I really never do, but ended up being really helpful!). In the center I wrote “how writing chose me” and all around I started brainstorming all the events that have come together that brought me to realizing the role of writing in my life. In one corner I wrote teachers names and in another corner I wrote about my childhood. In other places I wrote things like “career” or “future” with lines going to other places. I wrote a sentence about my faith and the role that plays in everything. There were circles and arrows all over, but I was excited to sit down and decipher it all into a coherent paper now that I knew what I was doing.
Now that I am beginning working on the paper again, I’m becoming a little more frustrated with it. The initial excitement of discovering what I want to write about is going away. Fitting together all the stories and ideas is becoming more difficult to do with words than it was with arrows and lines. I’m second guessing how certain events actually play a role in why I write. I keep thinking things like, “Maybe my eighth grade teacher telling me I was a good writer doesn’t really matter,” or “Maybe the creativity I used while drawing didn’t actually translate to anything about writing.” It all seemed to look a lot better in picture form than on the Word document opened on my laptop screen.
After publishing this blog, I’m going to have to find some new clarity on the topic. Writing is a process for me. I can’t just sit down and write an essay all in one night, so I guess I knew this was coming. My running inspiration didn’t last long, but hey, maybe I just found a new process that works for me.