no skills

If you feel that you learned nothing important after twelve years of grade school and three years of college, don’t feel like a useless, good-for-nothing brat who just wasted $80,000 and your parents’ tax-dollars. Just learn to cook!

Everyone eats and by learning how to cook, you will be consistently learning and improving a vital everyday, three times a day (or four if you eat a lot).


My suggestion to get started is to first locate the nea
rest the ke-chin (it’s a fancy, foreign word that you clearly won’t know since you failed French 101) in your residence. Some clues you can use to double-check whether you correctly identified the ke-chin, see if the room contains a refrigerator, stove, oven, and sink.  If any of those are missing, you are not in the kitchen or… you are too poor to cook, which only means you are completely hopeless and should just rely on becoming a gold-digger and eating at McDonalds in order to survive this dangerous, scary world. 

But let’s me just give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you have found the kitchen and are ready to get started. The second step is to do research and look up recipes with as little ingredients and steps as possible. In other words, find something easy to make.

Buy and obtain all the necessary ingredients and cooking tools. Then, follow the recipe.Continue this pattern continuously in the next few days with other recipes. Eventually, you will learn how to make certain recipes automatically and master making small changes to these recipes to make the dishes your own. 

When you are finally a master chef, you can finally go out into the world and draw in some hungry eaters. After all, everyone know
s that the the best way to an outrageously, rich man’s heart is through food.

One thought to “no skills”

  1. Haha this made my day, Regina.

    I’m actually one of the rare college students who does cook and who practices and all that stuff. I even get recipes from my mom and write them down on a spreadsheet save on my computer.

    You’re most definitely right, though; it’s a very valuable skill. And, it’s a great way to relax. I sometimes cook when I’m not hungry just to ease my mind. And I love cooking for people, too. It’s nice to be able to have people over and make something from scratch.

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