48 hour change

Let me share with you some life advice my friend recently shared with me.

#1 Live your life for YOU. #2 Don’t SHOULD on anyone, especially yourself.

#1 It’s your life, what are you going to do with it? November 14th, M-Biz event #2 (a business professional speaker series) featured speaker, Follett Carter. Not only did he have some very insightful information on what it takes to be a successful salesmen but he also shed light on valuable life lessons. “Nobody is going to look after you but yourself.” If you want something significant to happen in your life, it is up to you to make it happen. He also said, “If you don’t go to bed every sunday night, excited for the week ahead, than you’re in the wrong occupation.” You have to love what you do. I want you to think about your future, and what it is you want out of this life. If you are unsure, don’t fret, we have plenty of time. But I encourage you to start thinking, NOW! Because I want you to live as much of your life doing the things you love as possible. And once you discover what it is you love, you will find this is where you will excel the most.

#2 Stop Shoulding on yourself – a great place to start achieving what you want out of this life. Imagine you are out with a group of friends, including your high school best friend who is visiting Ann Arbor for the weekend. You are walking down state street at 7pm on a thursday night. You are all hungry. You say, “where should we eat? Chipoltle, Five Guys, Savas” – you throw out some descriptions. Everyone start’s reading into it way too much, trying to figure out where everyone else wants to go. The decision takes forever…you know the drill. Now reverse back to the analogy: on state street, with your friends (visiting AA) and you’re hungry. You say, “how about we eat at this really great place, unique to Ann Arbor, Savas?!” By simply removing the word “should” you are able to please yourself. The group of friends you are with are able to agree rather than guess which of the suggested restaurants you actually want to go to. And the decision of where to eat is made more quickly. So everyone can eat and be merry! This is the least significant way excluding the word “should” can make your life more enjoyable. Now think for instance, I should study for my exam tonight vs. I am going to study for my exam tonight. I should travel before I have children vs. I will travel before I have children. Excluding the “should”, tricks your brain into action. You are more likely to complete the things you want by simply not “shoulding” on yourself.

A much better interpretation of the anti-should movement is below, by my friend, Mike Aidala.

You Should Read This…

Stop Shoulding


2 thoughts to “48 hour change”

  1. Angelle-

    I found this to be so interesting to read — and so true! I have never heard that expression before, and it really does make sense. I can’t tell you how many times I have found myself in the same position you described, walking down state street with a group of friends spending pointless time discussing where we “should” eat. It is very easy to fall into the trap of “shoulding” yourself and others around you. I think this definitely applies to writing as well in that we are sometimes afraid to take risks, or reluctant to really put the effort we are capable of into our work (especially academic work). Eliminating the “should” aspect of our writing will open up new doors and allow us to push ourselves to try the things we really want to.

  2. Stop “Shoulding.” I really like that phrase and it’s definitely true. When I say I should do a certain thing, I tend to get lazy and put it off. If I remove the word from my vocabulary it might help me become more determined and better able to achieve what I want to. I liked your where should we eat example and definitely found that I could relate to it. “Shoulding” in this sense is almost a passive aggressive habit–you want to make a suggestion but you don’t want to assert your opinion onto everyone. However, sometimes doing so is for the better.

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