Why do I write? No seriously, why do I write?
Maybe writing is a way to get the clusterfuck of ideas and emotions out of my head and down on paper and out of my ongoing stream of nonsense in my head. I apologize for the crude language, but there truly is no other word that can better explain what goes on in my head.
To be honest, when I was first presented with this prompt, I had no idea of why I enjoyed writing or rather did it (other than being forced to by my professors). My automatic answer: just because. But then I started to explore the reasons beyond that. I remembered that when I was a young child I would be constantly reading books upon books upon books. I loved it so much that you could catch me holding a book every time you saw me, even when I was walking down the stairs. Then I got into poetry. Granted this is little elementary me writing poetry about nonsensical and stupid items that probably, if I read now, I would laugh at. My grandma Sofiya was big into poetry. I loved hearing her beautiful poems about her life back in Russia, nature, her emotions on a specific topics, and more. I guess I can admit that she is, in some nature, a role model of mine. Poetry was my only way I knew how to express myself when I was younger when I couldn’t get the words out literally.
After a bit of time, I realized that I was never and still not good at expressing myself. That is the irony of this whole situation. How can one not be good at expressing their feelings when that is basically all that writing is about. And then it clicked. That is why I write. I write because I can’t get it out any other way. Whether it is through poems, blog articles, letters, or even little pieces of sticky note paper that I later throw away, I write because I can’t express myself in any better way.
I find my conscious just flowing out of my head faster than a stream when I write. I wish I could sit here and say I write because of all these fancy shmancy reasons that are very scholarly but on the contrary, it’s quiet simple. I write because I can, and no one can stop me or say anything about what I write. Maybe thats why I have an issue of GSI’s grading papers. Who are you to judge how well my writing is. I can form sentences and my grammar is correct and on top of all that, my argument that we personally discussed is perfectly supported by evidence that we discussed in class yet you do not believe it’s good enough because……????
Writing is an expression. Writing is an art. It is not math and that is what make is so beautiful yet so frustrating because there is no right answer.
I write for me. That’s it.