My Love-Hate Relationship with Writing

Because this post is devoted to “bold proclamations about writing,” I thought I’d dedicate this time to come out and put something out there that I’ve been keeping in for a while, because I just think I need to share for closure if nothing else. Here it goes:

I SERIOUSLY HATE WRITING SOMETIMES.

There. I said it.

Among our wonderful cohort of Writing Minors, we talk a lot about why we love writing: how writing is freeing / enjoyable / the best thing ever Which, don’t get me wrong, it totally is…sometimes. But the conditions have to be right.

When it’s 4 am and my paper is due in five hours and I’ve crawled my way to page 3/12 (double spaced), the conditions aren’t right. At these points, I kind of hate writing. It’s usually at these points that I can never come up with the right word, the right phrase, the right topic. Just last Saturday, I spent five hours in the grand palace known as the UgLi, searching far and wide for a term paper topic. With every Google search, I became more and more fed up with this stage in the writing process; I always think the topic has to be perfect before getting started, which (as you can guess) tends to limit my options some.

Continuing on with this venting session, I could also do without papers for classes on themes I have no passion for whatsoever. A prime example of this was when I wrote a research paper on the future role of dentists in society. The struggle to even start these projects is so real, since I
know it’s just going to be hours of staring in front of a blank screen trying to get some words out there with no emotion whatsoever. I’m just like, can I turn this into a haiku or something.

Even with topics I care about, I get stuck so often in my writing. Something kind of upsetting is when I care too much about something and and go on to ramble about it for pages, only to find out that everything I said makes no sense in correlation with the prompt. Or when I want to say everything and only have 2 pages to say it. Or when I want to expand it just a little more, when I want to say what I feel but have no idea how to say it, and am struggling for the right way to express this when the project is due the next day.

Life is hard.

Sure, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows in the land of Microsoft Word but–at the peak of my frustration–I need to remind myself that, all in all, I love writing. I think we’ve all established that but, at times, it’s definitely a love-hate.

lovehate

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