“I’ve blocked off brilliance”

My appointment to write this blog post and then the rough draft of this daunting paper was supposed to start at 1:30, after I got home and fed myself, entered emails and had my daily panic attack about post-graduation plans. It’s after 3 now so I suppose it’s time to get crackin’.

For me, entering into a piece of writing that reflect on my evolution as a writer is scary, primarily because I absolutely hate re-reading my own work, even years after the fact. It was handed in riddled with errors that the professor probably chose to overlook or it just sucks.

I am the kind of person who punctuates the last sentence, hits submit and walks away. I don’t read teacher comments or peer feedback, even though it’s usually overwhelmingly positive when I do take a peak. Even when I know my work was good or great or worth the A grade it got. That sentiment has held true for me as a person, my mother will attest to that one. I hate photographs because I hate looking at what I looked like yesterday. I hate mirrors because, well, they force me to reflect. And as far as habit change, I’ve had four stress fractures in the last two years and I just got a new pair of running shoes, so I’ll be on the treadmill soon. I haven’t changed. That is the quirk I will try to address in my Writer’s Evolution paper, however messy that may get.

9 hours — minus time for a restaurant week dinner — to go!

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