As I trudged up the dorm stairs, I heard the voices of my friends. I excitedly picked up my pace, wanting to join in on the conversation. As I approached them, I heard one of my friends – probably one of the most outgoing – declare confidently the spirit animal of one of my other friends. I do not remember the specific assignment, but I remember being excited because if it had been so easy for her to assign the spirit animal of my other friend, then she should be able to assign mine as well. I joined into the conversation and asked my outgoing friend what she thought my spirit animal would be. She and my other friends who were gathered in a circle exchanged thoughtful glances. Which quickly turned into confused expressions. After a few seconds Addi turned to me and proclaimed that she did not know what I was. She said “maybe” a gazelle, but even that was “not quite right.”
At the time I was disappointed at the turn-out because I wanted a designation, an assignment. However, in retrospect, I think that the inability to assign me was perhaps for the best. It speaks to my personality and to the diversity of my being. I cannot be pinned down. I cannot be assigned. If anything, I should be grateful because it that I have the freedom to exude whichever side of me I please.