Butt Kickings

Sometimes I’m absolutely shocked with how lazy I am. Seriously. On Saturday night, I told my friends on Central Campus that I got too drunk at a party on North Campus and couldn’t bus down; I told my friends on North Campus that I got too drunk at a party on Central Campus and couldn’t bus up. In reality, I’d ordered two pounds of boneless buffalo wings and vacuumed them into my face while watching “Stranger Things 2” stone-cold sober.

I’m just having trouble getting things down. I know–doesn’t that sound just kind of pathetic? I mean, I’m 21 years old, I’m applying for big girl jobs, and I’m unable to go to wix.com and start plugging my interviews into my template.

I need something to kick my butt about this, or it’s going to be nearly December and my head is going to be exploding because my project isn’t going the way I want it to go. So, in order to get better at holding myself accountable, I made a more date-oriented timeline. My old timeline was pretty much a giant checklist; this new timeline gives me bite-sized due dates for each part of my project. Having a teeny project eat week will make me a thousand times happier than having a giant deadline loom in December.

I think it’s also just getting to be that time in the semester. The time where sleeping in and wearing fuzzy socks sounds so much more enjoyable than heading to the library or to Espresso Royale, where I’ll staple myself to a chair and not let myself leave until the project is done. This past weekend, I made more of an effort to get more of my assignments done that were due in this week. Although I didn’t entirely enjoy spending Sunday up to my eyeballs in Facebook’s 10 K documents, I’m feeling a little bit more relaxed going into this week, and I think I’ll be able to get more done on the Capstone.

To hold myself accountable, I’m forcing myself to have chosen a template by this Wednesday, and to have it downloaded and edit-ready in my drive. If I can have a place to physically (virtually?) dump the documents I’ve curated, it’ll be a lot easier to see the project take physical shape, instead of just floating around in my brain. Having a place to upload my photos into is better than having a half-full folder in my phone. Having a place to start a “comments” section is better than explaining my Capstone project to my friends in between classes and hoping that they “get it”.

Ellie Snyder

Underweight, annoying glasses-enthusiast seeks nice Jewish boy to sit on her feet when they're cold. And also some good words and some not-too-strong coffee.

2 thoughts to “Butt Kickings”

  1. Ellie—

    I empathize with your post. I am also “just having trouble getting things down.” Because my project lives by writing, it dies by writer’s block—what is a poetry collection without poetry, anyway? Countless times this week I’ve picked up my journal, stared at the neat lines and my black pen and thought myself into a spiral so deep that my hand seemed to forget it was connected to my body.

    Which is to say: I’m inspired by your ability to recognize this difficulty. To name it, and in naming it, begin to overcome it (indeed, in naming your inability to get things rolling, you’ve wound up with a phenomenal blog post. You’ve made your obstacle into something productive, which is the goal, really.) I wonder: what gave you the ultimate push to “get things down”? What compelled you to write this blog post and set these new deadlines and go public in your declaration of accountability? I think I can convince myself of this intellectually, but it’s hard to translate the knowledge of impending doom into an active effort to resist impending doom, you know?

    So, I suppose I want to comment on your post to hold myself accountable: I want to name my writer’s block, in the hopes that this act of naming might be the first step toward quelling the hesitancy, defeating the self-doubt, accelerating the project. Because maybe all we have to do is write something, knowing that something is better than nothing, after all.

  2. Hi Ellie,
    I relate to this post! I am also in a situation where I feel like I’ve started to procrastinate on my project and I need something to jolt me back on track. I’m in the process of applying for jobs and am being buried alive by work from other classes and clubs. And suddenly it seems like the project deadline is closing in and I have so much work left to do!

    I like your idea that it’s easier to get work done once you have a template to build upon. I think that might be a good way for me to proceed with my essay. Right now I feel like I have many separate ideas that I am struggling to connect. Once you have a sort of skeleton of the finished project, writing becomes a matter of filling in the gaps. Or so I hope! It seems to have worked for you – seeing the site in class today, you have made a ton of progress from the situation you describe in this blog post. I’m looking forward to seeing how your project continues to develop!

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