Resisting resistance

 <<The level and depth of motivation I needed to start

Having finally landed on a specific project idea AND beginning it was an immense relief. Since my project involves a list of 50 items, and then narrative expansions on select items, I was particularly daunted by the whole undertaking. It was like staring at the Mind-Slayer from Stranger Things right in the tentacles and saying that I wasn’t afraid of it. Minus the weird exorcist-esque possessed theme, that’s kind of how I felt before starting.

T setting a deadline for me to finish an introduction to the project really helped get the ball rolling. I don’t know why, but sometimes, unless someone lights a fire under me, I resist starting the writing. It’s awful, and I wish I didn’t need it sometimes, but a deadline generally helps me get going on a piece of writing.

In past writing classes, this hasn’t always been an issue, but I’ve noticed a pattern for when it is: it’s usually when I am personally invested in the project. I think I resist because it means so much that I don’t want to mess it up or disappoint myself if the product isn’t as good in real life as it is in my head.

I seriously need to get over this though and accept that there are shitty first, and second and third and fourth, drafts and just begin writing.

Once I got started, the ball kept rolling, and within a matter of a couple hours, I had an introduction to my capstone, but more importantly, I finally gained a clear sense of what I wanted my capstone to accomplish and why it mattered to me. Based on feedback received from the class, this introduction helped them understand the project better and gave it context. If only I had done this sooner….

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