ahahhahahahahahah there are 6 days until classes end.
more importantly, it’s 7 days until i see david sedaris.
which, like, well, um, technically the capstone project is due the 20th (someone said the 19th but the syllabus says 20th so i’m going with 20th) but david is coming the 18th and i am a fool!!!!
i definitely work better under pressure, and i think that’s because i don’t do well with soft deadlines because i don’t take myself seriously/have no authority over myself. not sure if that makes total sense but basically if i set a deadline for myself, future flick just laughs in my face and doesn’t do what she was told to do. it’s a horrible system and yes it’s the worst.
there’s a fine line for me. there has to be enough of a time crunch but not too much. if i have to force myself to write and i’m not feeling it, i’ll likely produce garbage and frankly that’s just a waste of my time. the intro part of my capstone that i wrote just when i felt like it was infinitely better than the sections i tried to force myself to write afterwards for my workshop session. if i’m moderately stressed but writing because i have real thoughts and ideas – that’s the sweet spot. the problem is that i feel like that sweet spot is somewhat out of my control to find. clearly, i’m really good at accepting responsibility for things. procrastination is just so…fun..amirite?
i don’t know how to do anything when i actually have real time to get it done. for example, i’m only in 9 credits this semester and i have been at my all-time lowest levels of productivity. it’s kind of pathetic but we’re just going to go with it because it’s too late now to change that. maybe i just crave the rush of the stress. ?¿? ok that’s enough psychoanalysis for my wednesday night.
ps i happen to know that someone went to T with a capstone idea that was to talk about themselves and david sedaris and i want to know who you are…
so that we can be friends
ok bye call me beep me