I don’t think I know how to write anymore and that is my current problem. A pretty pressing one for that matter since our project is due in TWO WEEKS. But it’s fine, I’m fine. I’m totally ok, and I’m not freaking out at all.
But, ok, I straight up don’t know how to do scene writing anymore. I can write academically with such ease. Having practiced it each semester in whatever comm class I was enrolled it, I’m not longer stressed about or challenged by it. But as I sit with my suggestions from workshop last week which were to paint vivid scenes so my audience can gain a sense of how I felt in those moments, I simply can’t do it! It takes me hours, I’m not joking hours, to write maybe one page double-spaced. Only 20 more pages and COUNTLESS hours to go!!! An otherwise enjoyable situation as I can just sit and write all day, the looming deadline is cranking up the pressure and consequently making these hours the longest and hardest part of my day. Not to mention that I don’t have the next two weeks to vacation from the rest of my responsibilities and focus only on this project. Ahh, finals.
Looking back on my previous writing, I found my English 125 literacy narrative. It was the first assignment in my freshman year writing class and ultimately the one I chose to repurpose for my gateway. In the essay I talk about the transition from high school to college and my evolving relationship with music. I take the reader through fond childhood memories, life as a theatre kid, and the rollercoaster of a ride up to Michigan. Looking back, I don’t mean to toot my own horn but I can’t even believe I could write like that, blending emotion, scenery, characters, action, and more so seamlessly. Re-reading this piece I hoped it would rekindle this kind of spark. But, of course it didn’t do that.
I searched and searched within the piece for a way it could help me now, but I simply couldn’t find it. Returning to work on my capstone piece after thinking maybe it subconsciously did something for me, I froze at my computer. In the coming hour, I remained stilted as opposed to at ease.
I guess my question would then be, got any suggestions? I’m paralyzed with fear that my project won’t become something I’m proud of because of the time required to craft scenes I barely enjoy re-reading. Any tips on how to do better than I’m doing right now?