It’s no surprise that it’s difficult to write about a difficult subject. But it has come as a surprise that a project I’ve felt a compulsion to write and a story I’ve been drawn to has at times gotten so draining. I know that my third experiment is by far the best I’ve done for this class, but it has also been the most difficult in terms of genre and content. My third experiment is writing a found poem commenting on social media’s application in collective and anonymous grief, and about homophobia persisting in spaces of progression. It has been deeply personal as well so far through my sample, and moving forward I perceive drawing on my own experience even more. Doing a found poem as I’ve mentioned before in class has been more out of my comfort zone then I would’ve imagined. For a long time I have thought that my core competency in writing was poetry. To be honest, I thought this project would be something easy to whip together and finish quickly. But the time it takes to look for a specific sentiment from a facebook post that someone made on Blaze’s facebook groups is not only exhaustive in terms of time, but at times for my mind.
Here’s one, for example:
In that same vein, it gives me a sense of my purpose in writing about Blaze’s death. I had to reckon with a grief I had for some stranger because of our commonalities. In that way, I wasn’t all that different than the other people posting on these facebook pages. Where I find it at times disturbing is the outpouring of anger, or theories, or treating the trial as one would treat a law and order case.
I look forward to taking my poem and transforming it into an audio recording as well. My concern is that I don’t think I will be able to produce a physical copy as I imagined given the lack of time for turn around in using a service online, and it’s fairly costly. I think that I have several options for presentation, but really don’t want to consider that until my final project is done. I feel that finishing this project will act as a real place for me to move beyond this story and feel that I have done enough for this subject and this story.