After reading Twyla Tharp’s chapter on Rituals, I began to think about all of the rituals in my life. As I shared with Julie, my day always starts off with a glass of warm, lemon water. Before I run, I stretch out my quadriceps for 45 seconds, each. I have always thought that these mindless actions were just a part of my life, but I now realize that they’re rituals, and I now realize why I do them.
I have long struggled with confidence. I don’t think many people would believe me when I say that, as I am usually one of the loudest people in the room at all times. I attribute that to my uncanny ability to “fake it till I make it” – I will forever be a believer in that phrase. This lack of confidence, however, has transferred over to my writing, as well. I’ve been blogging under a password protected website for over 4 months… I clearly have something to say but am so nervous to say it. And that’s what I’m nervous about for this course, this project, this Capstone. What if people don’t like what I say? What if they think that I’m wrong? What if I don’t make sense? What if..?
Now let’s take a step back to rituals and talk about one of my favorites. Before a career ending injury during my junior year of high school, I played basketball religiously. One of my favorite things to do: shoot free throws. Why? It was monotonous for sure, but I knew one thing when I stepped up to the line- if I dribbled the ball twice with my right hand, spun it around, and took a deep breath before shooting…that ball was going into the basket, and I was going to get 1 more point next to my name in the stat book. A ritual that gave me confidence… could that transfer to writing?
I hope so, and I guess I’ll found out this semester. As Tharp mentioned, getting in the cab started her routine, just as dribbling the ball twice started mine. These rituals instilled confidence, and the rest was second nature. I’m hoping my writing rituals will start to do the same. As I mentioned, I attribute a lot to smells, so maybe I’ll start associating a vanilla cupcake candle with confidence.
If anyone has any other advice for instilling confidence in my writing, please do share! 🙂