by: Sydney Wagner
My entire life consists of unfinished stories. Things I’ve written that have never reached their last page, words I wished to say but couldn’t bear to, tomorrow itself and each tomorrow that follows. To me, a story is never quite done, not really. It breathes- it’s living and changing and moving, like a summer breeze, sometimes non-existent, sometimes so strong it sculpts the waves. As a writer, I face a constant dilemma: give in to beginning a new story that’s been cracking open my insides, dripping in mystery and begging to be discovered, or finish that something old that has never evolved into its final form, that either needs touchups or proofreading or still has foreign places it wishes to soar to.
Then there are stories that are combinations of both: unfinished and waiting to be explored, while built solidly in the crevices of my imagination. These are the stories that whisper to me while I’m asleep: I still have so much to say. I’m ready to be transformed.
There’s a specific story that whispers this to me still. It’s short, unfinished, hidden in a notebook in the mess of my bedroom and begging to be transformed. It goes by the name of Diamond. It is a story of struggle. It is a love letter to baseball, and the seemingly surprising sometimes small things us humans find we are passionate about. It is a discussion of finding security in the chaos of life. It illustrates the life of a girl fighting to live in a world where the odds are stacked against her. The truth of this narrative speaks to her determination, the way in which she is everything I wish I could be.
This fictional girl I have created has whole bookshelves-worth of stories written in her DNA, her day-to-day, the insides of her brain. I crave to take these stories and flip them inside out and upside down and on their heads, to see them from every angle and point of view. Something about the way this character carries herself and goes about living speaks to me. The things she whispers are worth shouting, and in every mode possible, whether painted on a billboard or strung throughout a melody or plastered on a TV screen.
Her story needs to be shared. And that’s why I want to dig it out to shape and mold it with my hands a million times over- so that it may reach everyone, and so that not one person fails to understand.