The Late Rush

I always do this. I saw I am going to do differently. I saw that I am going to change. I saw that I am going to finish things early. But things always remain the same.

No matter how many times I write it in my planner or Google Calendar, I am always doing my assignments late. I have been in school for 16+ years now and I have not been able to fix my habit of procrastination. It is now part of my writing process. I was supposed to challenge myself this semester to change my process. I wanted to stop procrastinating and start planning. However, as I sit here typing away hours before a deadline, it seems like nothing has changed.

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I have developed further processes that seem to promote my current habits. I can now type most of my pieces on my phone, in the dark, at all times of the night. I learned that I produce better work under these conditions, especially under the stress of the impending due date.

While that is all fine and dandy for my education (probably not, but I only have four days left so why contemplate), it cannot happen in my future job. I want, no, I need to change these habits. I need to follow my planner, calendar, sticky notes, and alarms. I need to prioritize my work over trivial things like Netflix and conflicting plans. The disappointment I feel in myself every single time that I wait to do an assignment and turn in work with half the effort has to stop.

I can do better. I can be better. I can stop procrastinating.

It will take some time. I will backslide a few times. But if I work on changing my mindset, really, really work at, then I can change.

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