I am drowning
and I am the lifeguard refusing to jump in.
I’m letting her flail and grasp for anything
but the water slips through her fingers as
her eyes
get wider with fear
I am drowning.
Struggling to keep her head above the water
she gasps for
air
but gets a mouthful of water instead–
and I am watching it.
I am drowning.
and I am the water filling her lungs
pulling her deeper
energy depleting
she’s losing hope
and I am the lifeguard watching it.
I am drowning and I am the water and I am the lifeguard and it’s all my fault.
#DreamJournal