I didn’t know how to start off my introduction because practically every greeting sounded too enthusiastic, too dry, or phony when I envisioned myself saying it. Plus, howdy seemed unconventional enough to where my saying it could totally be a Tatiyana-thing. Didn’t wanna make it seem like I was trying too hard, so I added a period after howdy. Very nonchalant of me.
Still not really sure how I want to do this introduction of me because I don’t really know what to say about myself. I’m sorta grappling with the fact that I haven’t been the one to define myself for quite some time now and I need to learn who I am these days to start.
Because I don’t really know how to define myself anymore, I’m hoping that a description of my current state will help explain me: I’m currently sitting criss-crossed on my couch, typing with greasy confetti cookie dough fingers, and waiting for my peel-off face mask to dry. I am sporting my favorite pair of men’s Frosty the Snowman pajama pants, a raggedy Save the Whales shirt from the San Diego pier/my favorite city in the world, and a mismatched pair fuzzy socks that differ in length. My hair is in a messy bun because I haven’t learned to tame it in the twenty years I’ve been on this planet, but it ties the look together quite nicely. The apartment is definitely way too warm for me to be dressed like this, but that’s just because the oven is turning the small amount of cookie dough that I didn’t eat into real cookies. Also because the fireplace is running on a sticky, humid day so my pooch can sleep peacefully in front of it and because my roommate and I are unofficially competing to be his favorite foster mom and I’m most definitely buttering him up.
I think my physical description is a good indicator of where I’m at right now: I finally got out of an unhealthy relationship that I let set the confines of my character for almost two years. Things are a little messy right now but I’m hoping to turn the messy bits into something happy, like the chaotic piles of sprinkles, sugar, eggs, and butter transforming in my oven as I type that are an objectively happy thing.
I’m in my oven stage right now.