It’s all gonna be fine. Right?

A blog post as captured by gifs from my favorite tv show (Schitt’s creek. Highly recommend)

Is it bad to still be feeling sort of lost? I have written a lot. I have created a lot. I almost feel ahead of the game. And yet, the whole project is still so nebulous. I’m in a weird place. I’m used to staying about four days ahead of my assignments. I have an “if you’re on time your late” mindset that has complete control over me, and therefore I have to be doing things early. With this, I’m always a day or two behind my projected goal. This stresses. me. out. I’ve planned important pieces every single day up until the deadline, so it’s nerve wracking to feel like I’m not working at the right pace. And despite having begun a website draft, blog posts, and even research-article drafts, the project feels like something that won’t ever be done. Or if it is, won’t be a unified thing. Or if it is done and unified, won’t be interesting or important. 

Canadian Party GIF by CBC

Kind of a downer of a paragraph, and as boring as it seems, I know my solution moving forward is to just keep going. Keep chugging way. I need to write enough, create enough that this project becomes tangible enough for me to make the changes that will unify its parts and turn it into an important piece of work. I know it will be. I also need to just keep writing because I really do need to stay on top of my calendar. That might just be the stressed out, chronically early, perfectionist in me saying that, but I’ve planned out my days so that I can turn this sucker in, and I plan to do that on time. Maybe one day early. Tbd. 

Well See Canadian GIF by CBC

As I move forward, there are a few things that I’m a bit concerned about, or that are at least weighing heavy on my mind. 

  • Taking pictures. I really don’t know what I want the pictures on my site to be, which is an issue because it’s one of the most important parts. How boring would it be to just be pictures of me?! How can I find inspiration for pictures regarding movement and health? I’ve considered taking pictures in yoga classes, but I’m not allowed to do this because I’m currently a teacher in training and it is unethical. I’ve got some thinking to do. And a photoshoot. 
  • My shadowing date with my D/mt consultant. I’m thrilled to be able to shadow her, but the date I was able to get to her is not the best, and I’m worried my three hour round trip will not lead to much inspiration or knowledge.
  • Again, I’m nervous that my project is not going to feel unified or important. I truly want this to be a good resource, but who am I to give out this information? Am I putting too much of myself into it? Will the information all make sense together?
pop tv love GIF by Schitt's Creek

Being pessimistic in nature, it was also a good exercise to think about what parts of the project I’m excited about.

  • My consultant Kaity really is the perfect match for this project. She truly wants to make it known that movement is powerful, and I’m really excited to meet her and see what she does. This has sort of been four years in the making, because when I was a senior I asked a bunch of d/mts if I could shadow them and never really got around to it. Now that I have a (different) career path, I can’t wait to see what it’s like to be a d/mt. My discovery of Kaity has been my biggest breakthrough for this project. I have high hopes that she will play an important role in the project. She has already given me a great interview and I think she will provide good feedback when it comes time for me to give her my work thus far. She seems like an incredibly genuine, knowledgeable person and I’m thrilled to be able to take advantage of that. 
  • I’m really interested in the other resources that I’m finding to link on my website. I have found numerous podcasts, articles, and videos that focus on some aspect of my project. And when they’re all compiled together I think they will be really effective in demonstrating my purpose. 
Pop Tv GIF by Schitt's Creek

As I move forward, I want to ensure that I am still focusing on research. I can’t think that because I’ve started to write, I am done researching. That’s really never the case. Especially since I want to continue this blog portion after the class is done, I need to continually be learning and expanding my knowledge and passion. I have already found a TON of research on yoga. I have learned about the many many maaaaany benefits that researchers have associated with the practice of yoga. Too many to write here, or even on my site (what to do with this knowledge???). I want to learn more about how to create a yoga flow based on a “limitation” such as anxiety or autism. This will come with my yoga teacher training, as well as outside research. I also would love to expand my research articles with more information about different kinds of disabilities, the way disabilities connect to movement, more details on the neuroscience of movement, and more. 

One step at a time. I got this.

pop tv GIF by Schitt's Creek

3 thoughts to “It’s all gonna be fine. Right?”

  1. I definitely understand the feeling of wanting to get everything done early and I can see how it stresses you out having seen your meticulously planned out production plan. It’s true, you are doing A LOT. But I think that the resource and project you are creating is meant to have that- A LOT. I personally like how you have a variety of different types of pieces and resources on your site- having one type wouldn’t serve your purpose as well. I think these different pieces make your website more valuable and more accessible to different types of people and different types of learners. However, if you do feel overwhelmed- maybe altering your plan or scaling down a little and focusing on what you find is most important or feel most excited about will be beneficial to your own state and help reduce some of the stress 🙂

  2. The whole idea of unification is really difficult to recognize until you have all of the pieces developed enough to put together and point directly to the connections they all make to each other. If you still feel like things are disconnected toward to end of the semester, there are always ways to remedy that, even late in the game. I do, however, very much understand your “early or it’s late” mentality– I struggle with it too. Stick to your timeline as closely as you can, and know that you’ve come through every time before, so you’ll likely do it again.

  3. Emma,

    Try to take some time to look at how far you’ve come instead of looking at how far you still have to go!! It’s important to celebrate the little victories along the way, or else you’ll drive yourself crazy. As far as pictures go, I wonder if you could still stick with the idea of taking pictures at yoga, but not during classes since you’re in training. Do you have friends that take classes there? Would the studio let you bring a friend in at a time when the place is empty so you could take pictures? Maybe some of the other instructors in training would be willing to help you out? I think it would be cool to be able to incorporate the place where your passions stem from, so don’t give up on the idea just yet!

    Jess

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