out of focus

While completing experiment #1 (which was writing a podcast episode) the freedom and ability to make multiple episodes on this topic led me to talk about things I didn’t care about. Since I’m used to writing long form with a thesis containing the topic of my paper, being able to make a series on any topic made me feel as though I wouldn’t have enough material or that the material I’m interested in wouldn’t be engaging for other people. With these thoughts in my mind, I created a sketch draft that included the psychology of belief, reasons why people are atheist, and an entire episode dedicated to just the background information regarding the increase prevalent of people without a religious affiliation. In reality, and this was also apparent in my draft as I had a lot more points underneath these segments, I was much more interested in hearing college students’ perspectives on their religion or why they fell away if they chose not to affiliate with a religion anymore. I think a reason why I didn’t want to focus around this, although this was what I wanted to write about the most, was because it felt weird to write about something that hasn’t happened yet (half writing in a way?). Since I haven’t interviewed people yet, how would I go about writing an experiment? The weird place of writing about something that will happen (assuming I get to interview people) made me turn more towards research or to write about things that have already been researched since it was more concrete.

In the same way, since this is a topic that doesn’t have a ton of research on it (I literally pulled most of my statistics from the same study) I felt like I was just rephrasing what has already been said. I had difficulty in trying to have a new perspective on it because I had no interviews or other people’s experiences to supplement it. Although my original interest was piqued because of the unique time I am in where my own beliefs and the people around me are changing rapidly, this was lost, the intent out of focus, as I became anxious about the execution and if other people were interested.

Leave a Reply