Author: Anna Fraser

It’s over! The project is turned in and I feel ~weird~ about it. I cannot believe this journey has ended (that’s cliché ew). But, I really cannot believe that I am done with the Minor in Writing. I am so happy that I stumbled upon it my sophomore year. This minor has introduced me to the best lecturers, peer-edit groups that actually work, and a new appreciation for the craft. I cannot imagine the last two years without it.

The challenge of saying goodbye is one that I wish I could postpone a little longer. I cannot compare this to any other experience. That’s the challenge. I want to reflect on how I felt after I turned in my Gateway Project, but when I turned that in, I knew I would be coming back to work on something new.

Turning in my Capstone has left me feeling nostalgic and proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish at this University. If I could offer any advice to a future Capstone student, I’d say “trust yourself.” You know what you are doing and what you want your finished product to look like. I struggled to understand how I was going to get to a final product, but somehow it just came together. It took months to start writing, but I eventually started, and that’s what matters.

Shelley’s words of advice to “just start writing” really do help. Just start writing. You will surprised at what comes out of you.

Thank you, Minor in Writing team, for giving writers a place to express themselves. I am so excited to see everyone’s Capstone Project.

Here’s to us and the challenge of being done!

It’s that point in the semester where we all look around and say, “Oh, it’s literally due in a few days.” Perhaps I am odd for this, but I enjoy this time of the semester. I have always loved the “crunch time” that comes before feeling relieved. I remember this feeling during the Gateway project. I loved staying up late the two days leading up to the due date. It was thrilling to know that I would eventually have to say, “I have to be happy with this.” The Capstone project brings some new challenges. I am faced with not only cleaning up the loose ends of the project, but of my time as an undergraduate here at the University of Michigan. I would be lying if I said that my project is at the point where I am merely tying up any loose ends. I am definitely still writing a few pieces (please tell me I am not alone in this). But, it is nearing the end – of everything.

Thus, my challenge has been tying up the loose ends even if I have not reached that point in my progress yet. I am overthinking my writing, spending extra time on assignments, and soaking in that oh-so-loving feeling of stress. All of this is coming from realizing that my days left on this campus are numbered. However, this feeling of wanting to make the most of the lasts is actually preventing me from finishing assignments in a timely manner because a part of me doesn’t want them to end.

This feeling is similar to how I felt during my Gateway project in that I enjoyed working on the project so much that I never felt satisfied when it was “over.” However, the stakes are much higher now. I know that I will finish my Capstone and think, “Is it really over?” I will always feel like there are more loose ends that need tying-up.

Does anyone else feel this way? Or are ya’ll excited to be completely project-free?

Anna

Sometimes I feel so hesitant to write that the very thought of pulling out my laptop feels overwhelming. Other times, I feel like the words pour out of me. Today is one of those days. Perhaps my long hiatus is finally ending. All I know is that Mercury is in retrograde and I have surely felt it. (Ask me about my weekend if you are skeptical of Mercury’s strength). Anyways, today I woke up and felt inspired by the gloomy day to finally get my sh*t together.

I started writing an actual piece for the actual thing! Wow! The piece is a narrative from an experience I had two summers ago when I interned at a law firm for the first time. It’s easy to remember my emotions at that time because the event was so frustrating. I will remember it for the rest of my life. However, I found it somewhat challenging to instill this emotion into my writing. I want my readers to feel angry after reading the piece. I need them to feel the frustration that I felt. If they feel nothing after reading it, I have failed.

For some inspiration, I looked way back to a piece I wrote in English 125. The paper was about my frustration with people who don’t understand invisible disabilities. I was inspired by the hundreds of looks my family has received as we park in handicap parking and my seemingly healthy mother gets out of the car. As I re-read this piece, I recalled how fast I was typing when I wrote it. I was angry. My first draft was filled with so many typing errors because my fingers could not keep up with my thoughts. It was my first time opening up about my personal life on a piece of paper.

I think I need to channel this anger once more to achieve my current goal. While the words have been pouring out of me, I have hit a small road block in my overall delivery of the story. I want to make sure people “get it,” but I also want it to read smoothly. Perhaps I should write from my anger first and then worry about editing later.

Have you ever written a piece straight from experience? How did you infuse it with emotion?

As the end of the semester creeps closer and closer, I am feeling very anxious and overwhelmed. I have adored this minor and will miss the work that it entails. However, this semester has been challenging. As I am trying to schedule strict times for myself to sit down and write, I find myself preoccupied with job interviews and other assignments. These next few weeks will be crunch time. I remember that my Gateway project was daunting in the same regard. I just need to focus my time and energy – this project matters to me. Anyone else struggling with discipline? Is this senioritis? Writer’s block? Both?

I had this problem last year during my first semester: I was preparing to study abroad and I found it hard to discipline myself and write. In my PHIL 224 class on global justice, the GSI was so strict on grading that it made writing papers a nightmare. You could no longer write a paper the day before it was due or even two days before. He made us prepare for papers a week in advance, making us write progress reports every night leading up to the paper’s due date. It was tedious but it worked. I would take 30 minutes to an hour every night before bed looking at the book we read or sketching a paper outline. I need to practice this old habit again. It definitely motivated me to just write something. I can hear Shelley’s voice in my head saying “Just write. Just do it.” And though that is some of the best advice I’ve ever received, I still struggle with the anticipation of writing. I feel paralyzed by the rut that I am in. The sketch drafts definitely helped me put pen to paper and organize my ideas. I am grateful for that. I think my stress is coming from the idea that there are only 5 weeks left to make this project come to life. I want to be proud of my work. Twyla Tharpe’s chapter on “Ruts and Grooves” reminded me that there are ways to get out of creative ruts – a bad idea doesn’t doom the entire project.

I think implementing a “progress report” structure to my writing schedule might help with feeling unprepared. What do you do to combat feeling overwhelmed and anxious?

– Anna

Picking a project is hard. I’ve forgotten how much self-doubt comes with the process. I usually think of something that I want to focus on, get excited about it, and then start overthinking how well I will accomplish it. I want my capstone project to be something that I can look back on in a few years with pride. I’ve enjoyed pursuing this minor over the last three years and this project should pay some patronage to that. At the moment, I am struggling to commit to a project pitch. I would love to do something on social justice, more specifically on the way linguistics impact defendants in the courtroom. However, I fear that I am biting off more than I can chew. Should I focus on something more personal? Something more creative and less academic?

This reminds me of the same struggle I had when deciding on my Gateway project. I remember this feeling of discomfort in committing to a semester long project. Back then, I was driven by telling such a personal story. I remember that I thought about my decision for my Gateway for a while before realizing that it was something I really wanted to do. I think that is the same thing that is happening now. I need to meditate on the idea for some time before feeling truly motivated to start creating. Something that helped me last time I felt this unsure was meeting with students who shared personal stories similar to mine. More specifically, students who had ill parents. There was something about talking about the issue with people who could resonate with it that made it feel real. Perhaps that is what I need to do for the Capstone Pitch. I am hoping to meet with a linguist to chat about how language has implications in social justice. I think having this conversation will spark some inspiration.

I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed and excited by the amazing pitches I’ve heard so far. Anyone else unsure of their Capstone pitch yet?

When I was a freshman, I thought that I could write papers in the community lounge where all my friends were “doing homework” which looked a lot like watching youtube videos, playing games, and blaring music. Needless to say, I was mistaken. But, did I stop going to the lounge to write papers? No. It had become an awful ritual that never ended in productivity.

I realized that I had associated this room with homework even though I knew it was the worst place to do it. I went my entire freshman year spending ten hours a night in that lounge working on assignments that should have taken 30 minutes. It wasn’t until my sophomore year when I found God’s gift to this planet: Hatcher Reference Room. Finally free from the chains of freshman dorms, I was a free woman with a mission to find a place where I could actually be productive and this library was my calling. Within a week, I was going to Hatcher every day after class and on the weekends to do homework. I broke my old habit of doing assignments with friends and found that working alone was my key to success.

As a senior, I have developed a ritual of writing papers in a quiet library with no friends around me to act as distractions. However, I must admit that I do write from the comfort of my bed from time to time. I think the ritual of getting to the library is what motivates me to write. It is very similar to Tharp’s ritual of calling the cab to get to the gym. If I can get to Hatcher, I know there is a greater chance that I will be productive than if I was at home or with friends at a coffee shop.

The struggle of second semester senior year has been, surprisingly, keeping up with this ritual. After 5 semesters of perfecting this routine, I find myself less and less motivated to get to the library these days. Is this a byproduct of senioritis or does this happen to other people too? Is it possible to outgrow a ritual?