Author: Matisse Rogers

As others begin posting their final capstone sites on social media, sending it in emails and groupchats, I remain hesitant. Posting my project site on Facebook is a very scary thought. Despite my best attempts to make it “conversational,” I anticipate that my capstone on Biraciality will be inaccessible to many people in my close social circles. The biracial experience is incredibly nuanced, even for those who experience it. This was a major source of conflict for me in my writing—I never felt like I was fully doing the topic justice. I eventually learned that I would never achieve that feeling, as no one person could do so.

With that being said, I worry that my readers may not understand this nuance and the individuality that my project represents. I plan on sharing it, but I may need some time first. Time to think, to reflect, and even to continue writing. Being proud of the work you have put in, yet hesitant about reception of the topic, is a difficult place to be in. However, it feels wonderful to be (temporarily) done and to have a product that makes so many of my lifelong experiences something tangible. Sharing is simply the next thing on my “to do” list.

So… showcase happened. It was a whirlwind to be reunited with friends from Gateway. Hearing about their post-graduation plans, accomplishments they’re achieved over the past year, and newfound aspirations was wonderful. It allowed me space for self-reflection, as well. Though I enrolled in Gateway only one year ago, I feel that I have experienced years of personal and academic growth. Sometimes, being around old friends and being forced to condense one year into a 2-minute catch-up reminds you of this.

Showcase came and went in a blur. As I was leaving North Quad, I felt conflicting emotions that are largely symbolic of the way I have been feeling as a graduating senior: grateful to have been part of such an intelligent community; and sad to see this community go.

As adult life begins, I hope to remain in contact with many of the writers I have met through this program. I am interested in seeing their future work, and know that this community provides honest and open reflections on my work as well. Though my website is technically “finished,” it still feels far from complete. I know that my project will be a working piece for years to come, both internally and tangibly, and I hope that I will be able to say the same of the Minor in Writing community. Leaving the University of Michigan does not need to mean leaving behind our most influential communities.

After reading over the recent blog posts my classmates have written, I have noticed a common theme: senior year stress. I cannot believe it’s almost April, and it’s comforting to know that others are feeling the same. Classes have been more difficult than anticipated. Couple academic stress with the weight of becoming a “real adult” in one month, and you feel like your head is underwater. All the time.

In the midst of this stress, I have reminded myself to take the time to appreciate Ann Arbor, my friends, and my classes during these final weeks. This applies to my capstone as well. The process is messy, confusing, and daunting- but that is perhaps the most novel characteristic of this course and the Minor in Writing. Writing about biraciality, the identity that I hold closest to me and think about most, has been a difficult process. I have never tried to “unpack” biraciality in the manner that I am now, and at times, this has been an emotionally taxing process. Personal reflection is a difficult thing to do on a timeline.

This semester has been writing-heavy outside of my capstone project as well. I have written upwards of 12 papers already. Going “through the motions” with these papers have helped me to appreciate the longer, more intimate, and more challenging aspects of the capstone. Though the writing is more difficult, it will be a better and more personalized product at the end of this. Positive thoughts ahead!

Until recently, I was in denial that the time for me to begin my capstone for the minor in Writing had arrived. The sense of relief, completion, and pride that I felt after completing my Gateway course still feels fresh. In moving ahead, I know that Gateway taught me many lessons that will amplify those feelings upon completion of my capstone project. Both of my projects have dealt with race/race relations in some sense. My gateway project explored colorism and my gateway will tackle issues surrounding biraciality. When I was brainstorming ideas for my capstone, I did not intend for it to be an extension of my gateway project (I truly did not intend for them to be related at all). However, I think I could use this relation to my benefit while still finishing the minor in Writing with two autonomous projects. Race is a topic that is difficult to discuss. Being a racially diverse individual does not give you free rein on declaring what the “minority” experience entails, as it differs from person to person. This is a lesson that I learned during the making of my podcast on colorism, and I will carry it with me this semester as I discuss biraciality and create a product that will be on the internet (which is forever). Though I have had experience with this lesson in the past, it will certainly prove difficult to navigate this time around.

The central questions of my capstone are as follows:

• How do societal and cultural norms impact the ways biracial people identify themselves?
• What does biraciality mean and what personal implications does it have?
• How has biraciality remained stagnant over time, and how has it grown or changed?
• What are the benefits and downfalls of having control over your racial identity, as biracial people uniquely do?

I have long pondered what biracial people “are” or what they “should be” within the broader context of the American melting pot. Throughout my life, I have alternated between identifying myself as “biracial” and “black” more times than I can count. Ultimately, this question is one that extends far beyond personal preference, involving American culture, history, and expectations. I hope to delve into this conflict in my capstone project, using both personal narrative and historical analysis along the way. My main concern in this project is that it is too ambitious. I will need to keep time management (and energy management) in mind as I navigate this semester.