Contradictions in the Writer’s Evolution Essay

Hi everyone,

As we in the Capstone class embark on the process of now editing our Writer’s Evolution Essay draft, I wanted to pause and reflect on the contradictions that are emerging in my first draft of this essay. As I was writing I definitely noticed that there were contradictory sentiments arising out of my essay. I resisted the urge to press ‘backspace’ and instead continued to power through my first draft as organically as possible. It turned to to be quite messy which I took as a partial victory because in that mess there was a lot of truth. However, I did find myself questioning why so much of what I wrote seemed to twist back on itself.

One thing I mentioned is how much less I seem to write as I get older. I seem to write only when it is demanded of me and less and less for myself. When I was younger, it was just the opposite dynamic. Yet, I also cover how I continue to use writing constantly as an outlet- something I covered extensively in my initial ‘Why I Write’ essay. These two facts definitely seem at odds. How can I continue writing as an outlet if I am writing less? Is this just a biased perception of myself or are one of these claims blatantly incorrect? As I weed through the revelations and challenges that came out of this first draft I think many of these contradictions come from a variance of perception. While in the thick of this class, I feel like writing is something I don’t do enough- at other times, I feel like writing is an inherent part of my life. The way I view my writing is circumstantial to my current viewpoint and therefore its changes.

As I now look to revise this first draft I think its important not to view these contradictions as challenges to be tackled but as nuances to be fleshed out. Something seemingly contradictory is probably only scratching the surface of a deeper, more complex explanation. By allowing myself to create a non-linear but truthful first attempt at this paper I am hoping now I can begin to make meaningful, deeper connections. This paper is undeniably challenging and I see many of us encountering the same struggles but I do believe that is only going to make the pieces stronger in the long run.


Capstone- Contradictions and Challenges

So hey guys, lets talk about these contradictions and challenges with the Writer’s Evolution Essay. In class we spoke about authenticity and as I reflect it seems this has been a topic of conversation throughout the minor courses. Finding this true, authentic voice seems to be the challenge when writing about ones self. This is also precisely the challenge I am facing now.

We spoke on writing to please the reader and in some forms of writing I do believe this is an acceptable adaptation. But when writing about ones self, while it may be acceptable I do not think it is necessary. Here is where contradictions come into play. I began my essay on the premise that I would not be converging on any one point and stating that I evolved to a specific point/level of enlightenment. However, I ended up doing just that. Although I was not 100% clear and going in one direction with my thoughts, I did end up making a solid point by the end.

The problem with this is because I was trying to write what I felt Professor McDaniel wanted to hear I was not using my authentic voice. You see my authentic voice likes to converge on a point by using the analysis I have drawn from the situation to build a conclusion. The point may be multi fasceted however it is still a point. The analysis is the essay and the “point” I converge upon should be apart of it. Talking about the process is the actual point of this essay becasue evolution is not a finished product it is the process of evolving.

I still have many ideas in my head but I will leave you all with a question. Why have we forsaken our “Why I Write, “essays? We have already identified our purpose and it can surely help us talk about our evolution thereafter.

Girl, seeking inspiration

I’d like to think of myself as a creative person- the kind that can come up with interesting and different ideas or can see things in ways that other people can’t. I’m a creative person and this project is really stumping me.

My intial reaction is that I am approaching this with too much of a creative edge. I am very hopeful that my finished project will provide some sense of accomplishment and as I am completing it, I will be inspired to make something really cool. But I really don’t know where to begin. My first problem is that I have a extremly large range of interests. In choosing my history honors topic I bounced from studying the witchcraft trials in medieval Italy to analyzing motown music as a social construction in 1960s US. When asked to apply for jobs, I   don’t even know where to begin because I don’t have one direct interest.

So what gets me passionate? What scares me? This seems like the ultimate question I’ve been trying to figure out for years- unsuccessfully at that And even though I’m sure this will change, one idea or topic comes to mind.

I’ve found that gender really interests me. The one thing that was in common in both of my thesis topics is that they are centered around women and how they are understood in those moments in history. From this, I think I might like to explore something different than my historical studies of women. I am good at research and understanding the social constructions in history. What I have not really explored is the present. I have been firmly situated in the past for most of my college career, and I would like to apply my understanding to my own life. I think it would be a cool topic to apply what I know about history of gender and try to understand how personally am effected by it. How have those events influenced me? The people around me?

So now that I’ve picked an interest, I’m not sure where to go from here or how to explore this in a project. Any ideas?