Michigan is the Tease of the 50 States

Imagine the U.S. is one of those dysfunctional “families” on ‘The Real World.’ Not that I watch the show, but certain staples of pop culture are so pervasive that it’s impossible not to know exactly what’s going on. It’s like the harder I try not to hum Lady Gaga tunes (and all of the other commercial crap for that matter) the more I do. No matter how fervently I boycott the radio, the latest and greatest saccharine song is playing in clothing stores, restaurants, TV commercials, and cars that pass me by… But thank God it’s not THIS bad.

So, t’was my good fortunate that I never had to waste an hour of my life to learn the dynamic behind this old-timer of the reality TV family – a dynamic that thrives upon convention. In every series, there’s the Bad Boy, the Jock, the Nerd, the Loner….. and the Tease (among many other less notable, overpaid archetypes), and it’s no different with the 50 states… especially when it comes to weather.

A visual always helps. Here’s what I mean….

So why is Michigan “the Tease” of the 50 states? It’s March 22nd and it’s 30 degrees. It’s SPRING and there’s SNOW EVERYWHERE. And this time last year? Basically summertime. Yes, my friends, and you will agree, when it comes to climate control, Michigan has none… it just can’t say no to messing around with our emotions. We want blue skies? Nope – it puts out some kind of rain-sleet combination. So the next day, we cleverly don our jackets, and it ends up all clear by noon. See what I mean? Michigan is a total tease.

But what about the other states? I’ve always been a fan of “The Bad Boy,” and in this case, it’s no different. Hands down, Texas is “The Bad Boy” of the Climate Club. Temperatures reach as high as 110 and beyond during the summer months, but THAT I can handle. What I can’t handle? Pushing April in my knee-high Sorels. Ideally, I’d hop the next flight (or even truck bed full of pigs) to California, “The Jock” of the bunch, where the weather every day wakes up and screams, “GET OUTSIDE AND ENJOY THE SUN!” Year round locals can rollerblade. I don’t even rollerblade, but if I could do it year round, maybe I’d start.

At least I’m not stuck with the twisted “Loner” that is Alaska. Who wants to live in a place that spends half the year in the dark and never breaks 65 degrees? It may be a fun spot to cruise through but as far as long-term, I won’t be picking it for my kick ball team. And “The Nerd?” The lame loser? The weather weirdo? OHIO – who’d you think? Yes, I realize that Ohio and Michigan share similar climates…. but it’s Ohio – it’s always the loser, no matter the subject. Why do you think I made the label the ickiest or icky brown colors?

Now I kinda want to go watch “The Breakfast Club,” and from the looks of the weather forecast, I might as well – it’s not like I’m going to be spending any more time outside than I have to.

Spring- Daring Duos Activity

Yesterday, Lena Dunham tweeted, “After Spring Breakers I now view my booty as both a weapon and a liability. Also, I call it a booty.” Spring Breakers is a movie that follows four college friends (Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, and Rachel Korine) and their Spring Break escapades. Desperate to afford the trip, they rob a restaurant. They are bailed out of jail by a drug and arms dealer (James Franco), and then get caught up in his schemes.

Linda’s Take:

The trailer is a montage of racy clips flashing drugs, alcohol, gun violence…and our favorite childhood Disney stars, Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens. That’s right- Gabriella, the math wiz Wildcat, has put down her pencil and picked up a gun.   Whether or not we like seeing these girls portrayed in this way, the fact of the matter is, they’re actresses. They act for a living, and that’s just what they’re doing in Spring Breakers.   I look forward to seeing Spring Breakers. I can’t wait to see these actresses step out of their classic roles and take on entirely new personas. I hope that after watching this movie, I too can “ view my booty as both a weapon and a liability.”

Veena’s Take:

I think Hollywood has tried to do its own take on Spring Break, Girls Gone Wild, or just in general, teenage craziness in the past. The new movie, Springbreakers, seems to look at all of these ideas. When I first heard about it, it seemed like a teenage version of The Hangover or another repeat of something like Project X. But, when you watch the trailer, it looks strangely serious and silly at the same time. We see the girls attempting to get cash for something…for Spring Break? And, they meet Lil Wayne looking James Franco on their trip? I think the movie, itself, will be interesting to see. The cast includes some popular actors like James Franco, Selena Gomez, Ashley Benson and Vanessa Hudgens. Though some people may not put this role as out of James Franco’s territory, I don’t think it’s something he has done before. And, I hope 12 year old Selena Gomez fans (although it’s rated R) don’t see this movie because their image of her might just be shattered. Benson will be leaving “A” from Pretty Little Liars and Hudgens won’t be singing “We’re All In This Together” from her High School Musical days. With this movie, I think Hollywood will once again, provoke controversy and surprise us at the same time. I hope Spring Breakers will at  contain a deeper message (if possible) or at least exemplify how crazy Spring Break can actually be. Maybe it’s so crazy, that the craziness, itself, is the message? Ha ha, I think it’s also safe to say that all of the actresses won’t be wearing proper clothes for at least 3/4 of the movie. It’s bikinis all the way in Spring Breakers.

Spring is Here… Yay?

“The way that I always know that spring is coming is I can hear the birds again.” -Kelsey Ann Wessel

Kaitlin: After a long Michigan winter, spring is one of the most welcome sights for us college kids. No more wandering out into blizzards, dragging ourselves out of bed into 20 degrees and biting wind, or taking an extra ten minutes to add an extra layer before classes.

That doesn’t look enjoyable, does it? Bring on spring.

Kelsey-Ann: …And now I’m about to dash all pretenses of hope.  Spring brings exams.  Lots of them.  Big ones.  Make-or-break your grade ones.  And let us not forget homework and essays and registering for classes.  Yeah, hooray for Spring.  At least the sunny weather makes up for the overload of work.

It will be a few months late, but you kind of want to crawl under your sheets and hibernate for a while.