I am technologically inept, and I am comfortable admitting this much. This attitude often saves me from embarrassing myself when trying to keep up with others talking about specific aspects of this foreign subject. The idea that I will be creating my own e-portfolio is quite intimidating at this point. I have my own comfort zone, and this new media aspect is something that is constantly pushing me to use skills that I am not as confident in. Although, I have a fairly laid back personality, and rarely feel stress about much of anything, I could see how this constant uncomfortable feeling could grow on me. Yet, after reading a couple of the previous cohort’s reflection notes, and recalling what Anne Lamott said, an aura of calm suddenly hit me.
At this point, nobody is expecting me to be a professional with this type of work. I am not applying for a job as Webmaster of The New York Times, or much less any professional aspect. I need to have faith that with practice, I will soon be successful in this new media form and hopefully, it will become something that I am excited to partake in.
I always enjoy a challenge that pushes me into previously foreign areas of learning. However, knowing this, I realize that I still absolutely hate that initial time period where I am running around like a chicken with their head cut off. I also love to meet new people, yet I always get butterflies when walking into a room with zero familiar faces. When I walk out of that room, the majority of the time, I am smiling because I have met new people, but also because I recognize that there was not really anything to worry about in the first place.
When I think about my e-portfolio, I think about Lamott’s piece. I simply need to get something down, and maybe it will be incredibly awful, but I have a feeling that there will at least be some building blocks for future success. Failure is not eminent, as I often feel initially (except for the Scarlett and Gray). I need to trust my abilities, and Lamott, as well as the previous cohort, may have given me the necessary boost to avoid these unnecessary feelings.