Am I Ready For This?

I am technologically inept, and I am comfortable admitting this much. This attitude often saves me from embarrassing myself when trying to keep up with others talking about specific aspects of this foreign subject. The idea that I will be creating my own e-portfolio is quite intimidating at this point. I have my own comfort zone, and this new media aspect is something that is constantly pushing me to use skills that I am not as confident in. Although, I have a fairly laid back personality, and rarely feel stress about much of anything, I could see how this constant uncomfortable feeling could grow on me. Yet, after reading a couple of the previous cohort’s reflection notes, and recalling what Anne Lamott said, an aura of calm suddenly hit me.

 

At this point, nobody is expecting me to be a professional with this type of work. I am not applying for a job as Webmaster of The New York Times, or much less any professional aspect. I need to have faith that with practice, I will soon be successful in this new media form and hopefully, it will become something that I am excited to partake in.

 

I always enjoy a challenge that pushes me into previously foreign areas of learning. However, knowing this, I realize that I still absolutely hate that initial time period where I am running around like a chicken with their head cut off. I also love to meet new people, yet I always get butterflies when walking into a room with zero familiar faces. When I walk out of that room, the majority of the time, I am smiling because I have met new people, but also because I recognize that there was not really anything to worry about in the first place.

 

When I think about my e-portfolio, I think about Lamott’s piece. I simply need to get something down, and maybe it will be incredibly awful, but I have a feeling that there will at least be some building blocks for future success. Failure is not eminent, as I often feel initially (except for the Scarlett and Gray). I need to trust my abilities, and Lamott, as well as the previous cohort, may have given me the necessary boost to avoid these unnecessary feelings.

2 thoughts to “Am I Ready For This?”

  1. It’s funny how you write about being technologically inept and yet you achieve something in this post that I’ve been trying to figure out for weeks: how to wrap text around a picture. But on to more writing related things, I too was freaking out a little inside when I saw the portfolios, not just the writing but the professionalism and coolness of their layouts. Now I realize it’s something to aspire to. That doesn’t mean that it will happen the first try or even the second, which is why I’m so glad you mentioned Lamott. It’s hard to pin down exactly what is so very comforting about “Shitty First Drafts”. That all writers write crappily at first? I think it’s more about realizing that we’re all in good company, that every great writer has been where we are, and that being a writer, even a great writer, doesn’t mean that everything you write is gold from the beginning. Which is also kind of depressing. The idea that there is no amount of experience and skill will make this process is quick and easy. However, while the journey is a struggle, sometimes fun, sometimes not, there is also the destination, the e-portfolio, where the rewards of the labor can be seen. The problem, at least for me, is that I’m at the beginning and I’m not entirely sure what I want my portfolio to look like or be about. But that’s why we write shitty first drafts and why I will make a shitty first e-portfolio rough draft so I can figure that out.

  2. Adept performance this week in the blogosphere, Skylar. As you probably know, I, too, am a philistine in technological pursuits. I also share your consternation about these E-Portfolios. Looking through past cohort members’ work makes me wonder how I am going to produce anything close to as sharp as theirs.

    I think you hit the nail right upon the head, though, when you ascertained that the best course of action is to dive head first into the project and hope for the best. If we can follow Lamott’s wisdom and just get some initial framework down, no matter how insignificant, we can go from there, working with our peers and professor. We can also use our mentors in the Sweetland Program to give us an extra guiding hand.

    In closing, I am right there with you with the technology hurdle we have to overcome to make our E-Portfolios solid. I would also like to take this opportunity to agree with Julia in that your blog this week looks really polished; it appears to be that of someone of higher blog IQ than either of us. Going forward, I plan to work together with you to find solutions to our concerns with the Portfolio and use all of the resources available to us.

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