It is a little funny to write about writing. I could create another post about writing about writing about writing, ad infinitum.
That aside, writing about why I write is difficult. It is hard to pin down the reasons why I write; some of them seem elusive. Other reasons seem strange to admit to anyone else, like for example, I enjoy flipping through my journal and seeing pages of handwriting. Other reasons I write seem unoriginal—to express myself, to communicate my ideas. (Or maybe its just a fact of the trade, there are certain features of it that are appealing, and those features hold true for many people). Writing creative non-fiction is difficult because there is a certain level of telling the world about yourself—which isn’t bad by any means, but the honesty of re-living an experience and the questions of, why does anyone care about what personal insight I gained from eating too much glue in preschool? Also, as I am thinking about why I like to write there is nagging Orwellian voice in my head whispering, because you think you’re really cool—that’s why. And I have to convince myself that I am not egotistical….right? (The battle has quite been won yet. I mean, have you read 1984, the man knew how to write, surely he knows what is up.)
I have considered the question before, why do I write? The answer is has often been simply and vaguely, because I like to—which begs the question, why do you enjoy writing? The hand cramps that occur after an hour and a half in-class essay aren’t particularly pleasant. And more than once, writing a philosophy paper has been agonizing. (Right now, I am experiencing it—writing blog posts also can be difficult.) There is something deeper than “writing is fun!” because often its not, but something drives me to continue doing it anyway.
The other thing I haven’t completely encountered yet, but anticipate difficulty in, is bringing all these different and perhaps unrelated notions about why I like to write into a cohesive and flowing essay.
My plans to tackle these fears include inciting myself to write with coffee and possibly a sugar cookie if things are looking really rough, (It always works. If you haven’t tried bribing yourself with food to do homework, I recommend it.) and work my way through this crappy first draft.