The Fight with Words.

In full disclosure, my relationship with words is in the struggle lane right now. Words and I are at odds. We’re fighting – think Rocky and Apollo Creed – and neither side is giving in.

So much of life feels like a service to others. I work tirelessly in my job serving others. I love those closest to me by serving them – being fully present in their lives. That’s the way it should be, right? Someone once told me that a key to life was simply “showing up.” Showing up for relationships, showing up for intellect, showing up for growth. But what if I’m tired? What if I continually show up and no one/nothing is there to greet me?

I’m in Salt Lake City, on my way to Oregon, and then on my way to California shortly thereafter. I’m here in the airport with our team and rest of the human race (many of the latter are decked out in camouflage).  On the whole, my purpose on the road (and at home, for that matter) is the serve this team, for lack of a better framing. What has my life come to?

At this moment, I’m discouraged by words. I’m frustrated in language. Frankly, I’m just tired and lack creative thought. It’s as if I’ve come to a fork in the road: to serve the person next to me or to serve my own self-exploration through writing. I need Sylvester Stallone to inspire me. I need him to tell me how to beat Apollo Creed and become his best friend at the same time.

Where are you, Rocky?

3 thoughts to “The Fight with Words.”

  1. For being someone who is having a fight with words, you’re using words so well! I love your philosophy about always showing up, being present. That’s something that I struggle with at times, because I’m a bit of a solitary person, so this is something great to keep in mind. I have faith that your inner Rocky will appear, and you’ll be right on track to finding the right words.

  2. Love this post, love Gabriella’s response. I’m curious–did writing about your bout with words do anything to help you win it? (I hear people say so often that it does–and I’ve yet to try it.) What’s so refreshing about this post is that it’s a meditation on what’s _not_ working for you right now. No apologies, no second-guessing, just voicing the exhaustion. It makes me feel less alone as a tired writer myself, and I’d be willing to bet it does that for most who read it. Also, I second Gabriella’s point that words don’t seem to be failing you in the post. I hope to read your writing for a long time!

    1. Shelley, I’m not sure if this helped me win this fight. I did feel much better after putting all my emotion into words and out there and away from myself. And I totally appreciate both of your kind words. They mean more that you know at this frustration point in my writing life.

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