When Ray asks us a question in the beginning of class, normally I’m satisfied with being given my 20 seconds of attention to respond to the prompt, and then content with listening to what the rest of the class has to say. However, for the first time this semester, I’m not. I think we have somewhere from 18-20 scholarly michigan students in our class, and if I recall correctly, only one other person, my main man Matt, agreed with me that a great night sleep is superior to a great conversation or a great meal. Simply put, I’m baffled. What’s even further perplexing is the number of people that chose a conversation. Having said that, I’d like to take this opportunity to more extensively map out my argument for why a great night of sleep is undoubtedly the best deal.
Why a great night sleep:
1) It’s easy. In fact, it requires no energy whatsoever. It actually gives you energy for the next day, which will undoubtedly be another full-on battle with reality and societal norms.
2) It’s soothing. Are you ever more relaxed than when you’re asleep? I’m pretty sure that’s impossible.
3) If your parents call, you have a legitimate excuse as to why you didn’t answer the phone. Either that, or the next time you need a favor from them, which in my case will likely be tomorrow, you can leverage the fact that they ruined your day by waking you up before noon.
4) It makes everything better. It’s as simple as that. When I wake up after having gotten a great night sleep, everything is fine. However, if my sleep is anything less than that, I will inevitably run into problems the next day, usually beginning immediately with an inability to get out of bed and function like a real human-being.
Why not a great meal:
1) Don’t get me wrong, they’re great, but typically you’ll just end up eating too much and then feel bad about yourself.
2) Unless you’re a wizard of a chef or have a big enough piggy bank to consistently east out at awesome places, if you enjoy a great meal, it’ll take you about a week to get over the fact that you haven’t had another great meal since then.
3) Not being able to enjoy great meals that often makes going home that much GREATER.
Why not a great conversation:
1) Thy’re great to start with, but towards the end aren’t you usually frantically searching for a way of FINALLY ending the conversation? I promise you that I love to talk, but this always seems to happen.
2) How do you follow up that act? Seriously, it’s great if you and someone else hit it off. Really, it is. But what about next time??? How can you possibly follow up that act? It’s like if you’re a pitcher and you throw a perfect game. Amidst all of the adrenaline and glory, they’re secretly thinking to themselves, Everybody is going to hate me if I give up a hit the next time I pitch.
3) Speaking of which, I know most people don’t care about sports as much as I do, but I really can’t afford to get laryngitis. I have teams to root for!!!