Effing What?

I found Effing Dykes soon after I’d come out as bisexual.  Although I grew up in Ann Arbor, one of the most liberal towns in the country , my own adolescence had been focused more on studying and bible group than exploring fluctuating concepts of gender and sexuality.  I had finally recognized and acknowledged a crucial part of my own identity, but that was where it seemed to end.  I had no close gay friends to ask questions of, and most of the resources available seemed to be a)geared toward men and b)more focused on heading off depression in the Homosexual Youths than in discussing community, norms, things like that.

Although I appreciated being given the number of the Suicide Hotline every time I opened a pamphlet on LGBTQ issues, what I really needed was a guide on how to hone my gaydar, a diagram on how to wear a bow tie, a gallery of lesbian women sporting fake mustaches.  That’s what I got when I found Effing Dykes — that and so much more.

At a time when most of the official resources offered to me were solemn manifestos on Prop 8 and discrimination, Krista’s hilarious posts made me see a different side of my identity, one that could be light and funny and apolitical.  She begins every post with a new politically incorrect (but never unoriginal) greeting: “hiya clam-jammers!” “How’s it goin’, clit whisperers?”  When a bunch of states were passing gay marriage laws, she wrote a post worrying that the acknowledgement of gay marriage would deligitimize her reasons for being a commitment-phobe.  Her posts are full of pictures of Real Lesbian Women and innovatively unprofessional use of font types, sizes, and colors.  Effing Dykes taught me not to take gayness so seriously.

On August 7, 2013, Krista posted that after 5 years of continuous blogging, Effing Dykes was going on indefinite hiatus.  I’ll miss her colorful monthly commentary, but I’m ready to carry on the torch of lighthearted gaiety (gaiety, get it?).

Mary Gallagher

I'd like to be good at poetry, short stories, and creative nonfiction, but really I'm here to develop the skills to write about politics and world issues

4 thoughts to “Effing What?”

  1. Seems like quite an interesting journey you have had! I am happy to read that you are finding outlets in the written word and taking life in a less-serious way. I have one word for you. Gaiety.

  2. I enjoyed reading this. My twin brother came out before we left for college so we have been separate so I haven’t been able to see how he expresses himself so its interesting to me to look at the blog and see how other people are.

  3. What an interesting blog! What an amazing description of your personal exploration thus far. Reading this blog makes me want to talk and hang out with you more Ms. Mary!

  4. You gave a perfect example of how blogs can offer something different and refreshing. It seems more down to earth and light hearted than the more “cautious” programs you mentioned, but perhaps the greatest thing is its lack of judgment and complete acknowledgement of real life!

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