Planning for Success: Revision

Upon turning in my draft, I had a lot of questions, and many concerns on how it would be received by others outside the sphere of my own head.   The feedback I received has been amazingly constructive, not only to my piece, but also to my confidence as well. I was struggling to put my whole heart into this project before I received feedback, because, well, I wasn’t quite sure where it was going, or where it could go. But through talking with Kit, Annika, and Shelley about my piece, I’ve regained much of my confidence and passion for this project. If I follow the advice I received and think critically about how to implement it, there is no limit to where this project could take me.

I’ve come up with a revision plan to start hacking away at what I’ve got, and putting the piece together in a way that will work for the audience I’m trying to reach.

  1. Revise for a more targeted audience. As I began writing my rough draft with the intended audience of “college students”, I thought my fitness blog could be a place for both men and women to search for relatable fitness advice. However, once my posts started taking form, I could see that most of my experience and recommendations relates mostly to guys.   That’s not because I didn’t want to reach a wider audience, but it just worked better when I addressed guys. So I think that I should take that and go with it. Though focusing on college men as the targeted audience will make the posts relatable to a smaller audience, it will help my message resonate more deeply with that audience.
  1. Reword to make my audience more inclusive. In my article I talk about stereotypes, which is a touchy subject.  I should revisit my wording and think more carefully about what I am saying, and who this post might offend.  I don’t mean to be harmful, but I think I can come off as a little harsh in some passages, especially when I talk about the “sorority girl” and in some of my other characterizations.   I want to keep the same message, and maintain a personable style and unique voice, but I definitely do not want to use wording that will turn people away from my writing.
  1. Revisit the comments I received. I received many comments, but the one recurring suggestion is about how to integrate sources into my work. Shelley suggested that I use scholarly articles to support my arguments, and also embed videos and infographics into my articles. Kit and Shelley both asked how I would incorporate my works cited into my blog-type article. I think that’s important to think about, and I need to look at Writer/Designer for suggestions on how to do it.
  1. Reformat the piece so it’s publishable. One of my main goals when I started this was to put my writing in a unique framework so that it stands out from other pieces in the vast genre of “online fitness advice”. Unfortunately, my rough draft does not reflect that goal. I think the first step is to create an easy to navigate website where my blogs are easily accessible. In addition, Kit mentioned that I could do some videography myself and add that to the site, which I think would be very helpful. Overall I need to make my piece more multimodal, and include more images and videos that help support my argument, as well as make it more appealing to readers.   Annika suggested that I trim my posts so that they’re shorter, and I completely agree. College students aren’t going to want to read through long articles, and something that is short, friendly, and put in an unintimidating format should be what I’m aiming for.
  1. Revisit the original paper I am repurposing and rethink my overall goals. I think that my posts should not be all separate and making different points. Although they address different topics, they should be all be contributing to the overarching goal of staying fit while balancing college pressures. As I revise, I need to be cognizant of that. Also, I think taking a look back at my original paper and sticking to “repurposing” that original is also important. As I get deeper and deeper into this project I may begin to sway from “repurposing” and begin to jump into new issues entirely. Remembering that my goal is to demonstrate the effects of certain pressures on health, and how to deal with those pressures is going to be essential going forward. Shelley suggested putting a post in about supplements, which is the topic of my original paper. I think that’s a great suggestion, and it would help me come full circle with my project.

Thinking critically about what to add, what to expand upon, and what to trim out is going to be essential in order to make this project successful. Thanks to the comments I received, that process is going to be much more clear. Sitting down and taking the time to hammer out a revision plan has also been helpful, and now I have a good idea of where to start.

 

 

2 thoughts to “Planning for Success: Revision”

  1. Hi Cole,

    I’m really impressed with your revision plan. When my teacher, Naomi, first gave it to me I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it. I’m a more go-with-the-flow and make-it-up-as-I-go type of reviser. However, after seeing the increase in confidence you’ve gotten regarding your project, I’m definitely going to be doing my revision plan. I’ve been having trouble clearing my head and formulating a clear argument for my project. Essentially, I’m writing a New Yorker-esque article about goal setting for students in college but I have so many ideas twirling in my head that it’s been tough to focus on one main idea. Like you, the comments I’ve received so far from my classmates has been extremely helpful. I just need to sit down, make a revision plan, and hammer out a final draft I can be proud of. It seems like you’ll have an easy time doing so as a result of the revision plan you’ve put in place!

  2. Hi Cole, I think it’s great that you are trying to hone in on your target audience. It would make sense that you have more experience with male fitness, and it would be more efficient to write about what you know. Do keep in mind not to alienate your listeners, even when talking about stereotypes that may not necessarily apply to them. It’s important to come off as approachable and well-meaning when wanting to get your point across. A fitness blog is super relevant to college students and I think your project is off to a great start!

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