I don’t think in words like our friend George Orwell. I am more like Miss Didion, who holds images in her mind and develops stories around them. I write to ground the images and thoughts in my head. For along time, this philosophy resulted in excessively purple prose with very little plot (the pacing was terrible). But, like Orwell says, wanting to write grandiose prose for the sake of the sound of those big words and sweeping sentences isn’t always such a bad thing. In fact, I think it’s imperative to write in a way that may not be technically the most effective, but indulges the writer.
As I’ve written more throughout my college career, particularly in this class, I’ve found that writing is not just a one-time act, but a process. I re-wrote my Repurposing project essay three separate times. The first time was, technically, terrible. But, I got all my word-vomit on the page. With each successive draft, the ideas got cleaner and more finessed. I think that’s another reason why I write: I am able to rid myself of the mess of my thoughts and physically rearrange them until they are in the most optimal, effective form (at least in my mind).
I can definitely identify with Orwell’s point about long-term writing being painful. When I attempted writing a play last year, I was, at times, so paralyzed with my inability to create anything other than complete shit that I felt like I was going to be sick.
But when I do write successfully, when my thoughts translate with relative ease and clarity onto the paper, the feeling is unmatched. I think that makes it worth it.