I Hate Animals: My First Experience Writing Dangerously

What animal are you? What’s your spirit animal? What’s your favorite animal? These are the ice breaking questions that I dread the most. My natural response is to say that I hate animals. But, that is not the type of thing that you can just say to a group of people. It’s like they equate animal haters with serial killers. Oh no this lady at Starbucks asked if I could watch her stuff, and almost caused me to lose the game. Anyways, I’m back. Animals. They’re disgusting. They smell bad. Most are not potty trained. They shed. I just don’t understand what there is to like about them. Now, I’m not a psycho. I don’t go around lighting cats on fire or anything like that. But that is the assumption when I tell people that I hate animals. That’s why I always hesitate to answer the question honestly. I always have to explain to people that I’m not a psychopath, but that I just try to avoid animals at all costs. I don’t go to zoos and I try not to go to people’s houses who have pets. It’s really not that difficult to avoid. The one problem is that the rest of my family loves animals. Unfortunately for me, I was outvoted 4-1 and we have a 80 pound, super sheddy, yellow lab.

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