Writing About Writing

I still don’t know if I want to actually be a writer. I know I like writing- but I also know that I hate deadlines. I hate that feeling that there is always something due. I know I am a good writer, but am I good enough to stand out? Good enough to make a career out of it? There are a lot of good writers out there. At least I always feel like there are. That is until I try to find a good book to read.

At this point, I’ve been writing for a while but I think I am still working on finding “my voice.” Barf.

Maybe my voice will find me. Maybe it’s  floating around in the sky like a lost balloon. If it is a lost balloon, it’s probably caught in a tree somewhere. That’s just my luck.

Up until this point, I pretty much have focused my life on two things: food and the people who eat it. I write a lot about those two topics, both separately and how they interact. As much as I explore these topics, I am still interested. That’s how I know I probably should work somewhere that I can talk, think, and write, about food and people. Because it’s the only thing I care about enough to read the book instead of skimming the chapters.

Although I always write about food and/or people, lately, I have felt willing to experiment with writing about it in other genres, such as making podcast. Maybe even writing poetry if my fingers are feeling loose. Although I would like to say that this is because my creative genius spans across multiple genres, it is actually because I have been getting really burned out when it comes to writing. I honestly feel like I would rather get a small injury than write another college essay.

Back to my developing voice. (It’s developing-like photos and pubescent breasts- never quite what you envisioned but you just have to run with it and pretend that’s how it’s supposed to be.) There are some authors- mostly fiction writers come to mind –  who phrase things so amazingly it makes me think “now, THAT”S a voice.” I want to have a voice like that. One that makes the reader stop and think. Will I ever get there? the world may never know. However, I am taking little steps like working on creating metaphors that are totally spot on. I spend a lot of time thinking about that.

Today I was listening to the Moth and a storyteller, who was describing his first time eating with chopsticks. He said that when he flung a piece of sushi into the air, the  wasabi “dislodged the way that a satellite dislodges from a space ship” or something like that.

At the moment I was focusing on the Podcast, this really struck me. It just creates a visual that you can really see: the sushi moving slowly in the air, like an object in space, and the wasabi flying off. I was jealous that he came up with that metaphor, and my best metaphor in 500 words has been about a floating balloon.

I do know one thing about my “voice”: My writing is best when it is reflecting upon things I have noticed, experienced, or otherwise have some basis of knowledge on. So creative non-fiction I guess one would call it. I really like doing journalistic pieces, I discovered, because I always like writing about things I experience first hand. For that reason, I have always felt so so envious of the writers of Bon Appetit and Saveur who just get to travel, experience cool things that have to do with food, and then write about it. The cherry on top is that they actually get paid for that shit. I think that I would like to do that someday.

The only problem is that I never want to live in New York or LA. So I am kinda screwed for working at any big magazine.

I guess as a writer, I don’t know yet whether I have it in me to become a writer. I know I could become a mediocre one, but anyone who knows me knows that I am a perfectionist. I have been known to make a pie, and then remake it them same day if it’s not quite what I want it to be.  If it’s still not spot on, I will make it again the next day. That’s how I have become the baker that I am today: repetition.

Writing isn’t about repetition, it’s about writing something new. If I am going to write, it better be damn good, and something that hasn’t been written before. Otherwise, what’s the point?

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