The advertisers and marketing departments in the world appear to be beyond bewildered right now. What do the kids like? They seem to be asking each other. Gorillas? Frogs? What’s a meme? It’s not new that there’s a divide that gets wider and harder to bridge with each new generation in recent decades, but with that widening divide, there comes a business challenge that seems increasingly insurmountable. How do we get the kids to buy our product when we don’t understand them? But there is a way to understand them! Through understanding their language, and in noticing the trends in advance, online linguistics, even on strange sites like Tumblr, can be completely decoded. There are rules to the way that communication happens online, even if it seems strange or nonsensical. Understanding this better is of personal interest, since I’d very much like to decode not only what the hell I’m talking about when I’m online, but also the why.