So, now that I’ve discovered that as a reader, I read to see myself, I think it says something about my desires or preferences as a writer. I think as a writer, it says that I don’t really know who I am, so I write in order to bring some version of myself into existence. When I read, I am looking for a version of myself, perhaps in an effort to understand myself better. This extends to when I write, which is why I think I reject writing that doesn’t feel authentic, doesn’t feel like me. I am always scared that my writing is not honest, not representing myself in the way that I should be.
This is in part why I think I’m struggling with my repurposing and remediation (which are all about my authenticity and my identity as a writer). Maybe this realization about myself, and my need to represent myself well in prose will help me going forward? I don’t know who I am, and I write to know, because maybe I’m not seeing it in what I read.