If you’ve spoken to me about my project even for a minute, you have a superb idea of just how stressed I am. I suppose we’re all stressed, and I am definitely whining to an understandably sympathetically unsympathetic audience. We writing students all have come to know just how daunting these early phases can be.
My primary issue in this particular early phase, however, differs from my familiar phase-one anxieties. My struggle lies not in how overwhelming this project seems or in my inability to visualize the final product (though, obviously, you can add those to the list), but, rather, in my fear of writing about and of publishing a detailed piece about the topic that I have chosen. I have been reassured by many that I do not need to take the vicious yet guilty approach that I wish to take, but I fear that if I try too hard to neglect that approach, I will disrupt my own premature vision of what I want this piece to be, and I will end up with a work that is so disconnected from what inspired my initial idea that it becomes something that even I wouldn’t want to read.
It’s a slippery slope, People.
So, I need to face my fears and go with my gut even though my gut, too, is ambivalent. The fact that I am being so sketchy about my topic in such an excited voice in this very blog post is reflective of just how eager I feel to produce this but how uncomfortable I feel in publishing it. I’m just going to have to trust myself to trust all of you.
If you’ve read this, you are probably now wondering, What in hell could this girl possibly be writing about? and you’ll probably ask me about it and I’ll probably tell you.
Because it’s probably not that big of a deal and I’m probably just being dramatic because I’m great at that.