Anxious and Strapped for Time

Time is my biggest enemy.

I really like The Twilight Zone. For those of you that are not familiar with it, it is an old sci-fi TV show from the 1960’s where spooky and improbable things happen. I think a lot about this one episode where a man received a stopwatch that could pause time, and I think about all of the things that I could accomplish with all of that extra time.

I had this same problem when I was in Gateway. While in Gateway, I had an overloaded schedule, and I found myself then getting anxious that I wouldn’t have the time to do everything that I wanted to do. I found myself up late at night reading research papers to try and feed my project, and I have now also been doing the same for this Capstone project! I have come full circle.

The old fears are starting to come back. What if this project sucks? I’m starting to get the feeling that I am behind on everything, and sometimes I just need to remind myself to take a deep breath and relax because I definitely will not be able to solve anything if I am freaking out. For some context, my Capstone project is about the discussion around the lack of women in STEM, and my final project will be a podcast where I interview women of several ages in several places among the STEM pipeline while I discuss the research and thoughts behind this issue.

Things are running late for a couple of reasons. For one, I was too chicken to try and contact people when I first said that I would because reaching out to people I don’t know well for favors gives me nightmares. Second, scheduling conflicts on both my end and my interviewees’ ends have pushed back my interviews further than I wanted them to. I know that I still have another few weeks before the final project is due, but at the same time I ONLY HAVE ANOTHER FEW WEEKS BEFORE THE FINAL PROJECT IS DUE.

I’m not sure what type of advice to ask for here. It just would feel nice to know that I am not alone.

2 thoughts to “Anxious and Strapped for Time”

  1. You aren’t alone, Amy!
    I also had some scheduling conflicts with interviews I was conducting for my own project. For one guy, the first rescheduling was my fault, but the next he had a family emergency, and then the following time he was sick. It put me weeks out of whack. But once I was finally able to speak with him, it really helped me. And while I was waiting, I was forced to address other parts of my project and try to figure out how to come at them from an unrelated angle.
    The hiccups and anxiety that comes from working with other people really forces you to make a list (at least it does for me because I love lists) and prioritize what needs to be done.
    Since last minute scheduling conflicts are real, I’d recommend doing as much as you can outside of the interviews themselves to make sure you’re ready, and maybe try to get to a point where everything is set up and ready for them. Do you have your site figured out? Is there any accompanying writing you could do in the meantime?
    Whatever you decide, good luck finishing! And remember “we’re all in this together!”

  2. Amy, I was nodding my head the entire time I was reading your post. You are not alone. (And I love The Twilight Zone, too!) Time feels especially fast and weird right now with graduation eagerly approaching. I started writing my first piece today. TODAY. We will be okay. We love writing and we are good at it. That’s why we are here, remember? Your project sounds incredibly interesting and I cannot wait to read your brilliant work. As for advice on getting favors from near-strangers: don’t read into it too much. I am sure these women will be ecstatic to see that you are speaking up about the gender imbalance in the STEM field.

    I hope you find some comfort in knowing that everyone I’ve spoken to is equally freaked out by the approaching deadline. You got this! We all do! Yay writing!

Leave a Reply