In class on Monday, Ray had us discuss what the possible implications of our final projects might be. Some people have this easier than others: those whose writing might reveal a new theory or interpretation of certain conflicts in politics or popular culture can be more easily forecast whereas the possible implications of my personal inner-workings might be more muddied. I told myself when I started this project that there could be no boundaries. If I was going to delve into my personal life, nothing could be too personal or too private to share. My favorite professor always told me that the best writing will always “make the private public.” That was precisely my plan with my nonfiction essay anthology.
In my proposal, I wrote that “I wanted to explore how age informs personal experience and my reflection upon that experience after-the-fact.” Perhaps one of the possible implications of my Capstone project might very well be that some ages are better or worse than others and that particular discrepancy could leave to an adverse effect on how life is lived. However unlikely, this result is certainly possible. In truth, the greatest implication most likely revolves around the essays’ subject matter—me. Do I uncover a previously unknown, or perhaps buried, explanation for why I am the way I am? Because of these discoveries do I change the way I interact with others? Do I grow embarrassed by the sheer number of private instances I chose to reveal to my audience?
By writing about myself, I hope to understand myself in a deeper manner. But perhaps my greatest fear and my project’s likely implication, is that I don’t come to understand myself at all.