Mid-semester Crisis! – Challenge Journal #3

Oh my god. We are so close to the due date for our project and there could be nothing more stressful than the fact that I need to get so much done within the next 6 or 7 weeks. AHHHHH!

Clearly, this capstone project has taken a toll on my overthinking capacity. As I think about the website, the introduction, the podcasts, the reflection – SO MANY PARTS; the more I find myself asking myself: “Am I making the right choices?” 

I still remember in Gateway how Ray had told my class that we all will be making some incredible choices when it comes to developing the website, some choices that may seem usual to us – such as colors, layout, structure. Surprisingly, I wasn’t this stressed about my Gateway project as I am now. (Or I just don’t remember being so stressed…?)

Anyhow, I need to time and again remind myself that I need to believe in my project and in the topics that I want to share with everyone else in this whole world. More than the project being about ‘right’ and ‘wrong,’ it will be unique in its own way. I just need to pull myself together and develop some tangible, concrete content that SHOWS me my project than just TELLS me. (oh well, I have the showing, not telling writing mantra here!)

On a brighter note, I have found subjects who are willing to be interviewed and open themselves through conversations around beauty standards – which can lead to some triggering content. I have been successful in drafting up my own personal reflections (on the topics) which haven’t been terrible so far. I am interviewing one of my interviewees next week!

With such small successes in place, I feel better about the progress but still the questions linger: What if this goes terribly wrong? What if this doesn’t turn out the way I want it to? 

Apoorvee Singhal

Hopeless romantic, fiction enthusiast, eternally loves coffee and (bougie) brunch

3 thoughts to “Mid-semester Crisis! – Challenge Journal #3”

  1. Apoorvee, all I can say is “SAME!” I am a very stressed out about how my podcast is coming, but I feel like that is just because I have never done something like this before so I don’t even know what I am supposed to be preparing for sometimes. No matter how much I prepare I still feel a bit unsure of the podcast itself, and how the recording will turn out, how the guests will sound etc. The thing about podcasts is that there is so much you have no control over. You can’t control how your guest responds to your questions, how the conversation will change, you can’t control if there is a break in conversation and some awkward unfilled silence. It is just impossible to have complete control over a podcast. At some point you just need to record and say screw it, I am just going to do it and see what happens. Of course it is smart to plan out some questions in advance and to make practice a little, or give your interviewee some questions to look over so they feel prepared too. But in the end, you just have to record and let it happen so that you have some content to work with.

  2. Your first sentence is really, I would assume, the perfect encapsulation of what everyone is feeling right now. So much to do, so little time. I feel a little more at ease by thinking how quickly I could piece everything together if I really just sat down for an extended period of time and went to work. I also had Ray for my gateway, and I agree that in the capstone it feels like added pressure because now I know what choices I should be making for the website, there are plenty of them and they all have to be purposeful and effortful. Who knew so much work had to go into it?

    I forgot where I heard this advice, but I remember being told that if you want to start something and you don’t know how to do it, just do it. It may be the most frustrating thing I have ever been told, but a lot of that frustration stems from how true that sentiment actually is. With all the preparation and self-visualization we have done in class, I am sure you have at least some semblance of what you want the project and website to look — add it now! Also, don’t say that reflections “haven’t been terrible so far,” say they are going (and will continue to be) great 🙂

  3. Apoorvee, my love, you have spoken the words on all of our minds – how the hell am I going to do this? With the end of the semester quickly approaching, I’ve avoided looking at the calendar out of fear of how few days we have left with these projects. One point I want to add to your Gateway comment is that for some reason it felt like the project game together so much more smoothly. Maybe it was beginner’s luck? I’m not sure why, the only thing we can do now is take a deep breath and push through. Hopefully, even if we don’t end up making the right choices, we still end up with something that captures our goals and passion for our topics.

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