As I wake up after another annual “spring forward” to some confusion to my phone saying one time and my stove saying another, I can’t help but notice a little blur in my vision. Now, this blur is partially due to the lack of tasks I have accomplished over the past nine days during break despite my ambitious list. But it is also due to that general lack of clarity accompanying long breaks from working on a particular project; i.e. my writing capstone project.
It would be easy to tell myself that it is okay, considering I still have 24 hours until I will be back in class to find my focus. It would be easy to say that this happens to everyone and I will get my focus back soon enough. Hey, it would even be easy to say that it’s fine if it takes me a couple of days because I have other class deadlines on my mind. And while the lazy person in me is telling me to take those thoughts and run with them, I also have a little voice telling me that that isn’t good enough. That I need to actually do something about my lack of focus rather than just let it envelope me.
Now, I wish I had a great solution to this. I really do. I wish I could tell you that I drank some questionable tea and sat in silence for a few hours and my head was suddenly void of the blur and full of clarity. I wish I could tell you that reading over my project so far and looking at all of my research made me excited to get back to school and start working again. But none of those worked. So I decided to sit here and write this very unorganized and rambling journal.
And so far, it really has helped. It has nudged me in the right direction of school and class and project and slightly numbed my thoughts to playing with my dog and watching Criminal Minds for the fourth time. As I am writing this journal, I have to keep stopping to right down little tasks for myself for afterward. Print out syllabus for new class. Find out class room. Fill out monthly planner.
So even though I do have a lack of focus, I’m pretty confident that I’ll be able to get it back. And writing was just what I needed.