It’s April and it’s still cold. That’s the norm now I guess.
Anyway, my capstone website is up. It’s far from being done but it feels more surreal now that I am actually doing a project, like it’s not just a writing class. I find that tackling a big project is overwhelming. Even while doing the project, I still get overwhelmed by it. I think about the project everyday, drawing inspirations from what I see and heard while I was walking to class or back to my apartment. This project has consumed me.
Now big project always scares me because I am afraid of starting and not making progress and not having a good enough topic, etc. I’ve done other projects in my life before but none of those feel as scary as this one. To be honest, I am the slowest when it comes to researching and typing up my project. Besides other school work, I guess I was too scared to start writing because it’s just unthinkable that I can produce such a long and huge writing project. But my site is up and there are some writings on it. What I find helpful is to just start writing, even if that means I write badly. This reminds me of what Jim said to Pam, that is to get the bad ideas out first so that more brain space can be freed up for good ideas.
So once I started writing, I find that the process is not as hurtful as I imagined it to be. It still sucks but it sucks my soul less. Sometimes I find it weird that I’m a writing minor but I really hate writing long papers. I’m not good at writing long papers because I don’t have many things to say. I mean there aren’t any better way to say “I hate oranges” than “I hate oranges.” I’m not a fan of “I find that I have a strong aversion to the citrus fruit by the name oranges.” That’s just unnecessary. (side story: I had to read a few application essays from my friends and wow filler words everywhere. If I only learn one thing from science classes, it is that being concise is better than being sophisticated)
This is all I have for this post. Write on, everyone!
(side story 2: I’m bummed that I will miss the showcase but I’ll be sure to visit everyone’s websites!)