I feel like regardless of how much work I put into a paper, or my homework, or a project, or whatever it is that’s causing me overwhelming stress at any given moment, I always tend to hit panic mode toward the end. I’ve literally written entire papers before, had them done days before the deadline, and just spent so much time tweaking or experimenting or doing surgery on them that I find myself working right up until the deadline.
I think this is pretty emblematic of who I am as a person, in both a positive and negative way. I never think anything is done, ever, which is a pretty horrifying trait to have because I never feel satisfied with something until it’s turned in and Canvas is closed and I literally do not have access to the document I’m trying to tweak.
On the other hand, this is really good when I’m applying to jobs, because my resume is completely nit-picked to as close to perfection as a semi-decent resume for a 22-year old hopeful can be. Right now, though, this is not the case. Right now, despite working on this project for months and compiling as much information as possible an interviewing people and completely reshaping my project, I’m in panic mode. I’m in the furiously-typing stage, the stage where you incorporate and un-incorporate the same source approximately 10 times before deciding to cut it all together.
I know my project is in a good place, and I know that I’ve done a lot of work for this. But my biggest battle right now is myself, I think — so maybe it’s time to close the laptop and take a nap and pick it back up tomorrow, when there’s less time to panic over every little thing.