I’ve never thought of myself as a creative person. It all goes back to the 3rd grade. Indulge me while I go on this short rant…
It was November 1st (yes, i’m crazy and remember the exact date). We were just starting to learn cursive. The new month meant a new seating chart. For all of September and October I had been hoping to be seated next to Pierce, the “it boy” of Mrs. Larkin’s class. I swore to myself that I loved him, and maybe I did in a weird little kid way, but I soon would learn that the feeling was NOT mutual. It was official, for the month of November he would sit across from me (yassssssss). We pulled out our cursive practice books and began to write. He looked up at me and said, “Are you sure you’re a girl? Because you have the handwriting of a boy.” I began to notice that I had bad handwriting, I was terrible at drawing, the girl next to me in art class always had a better painting than me, etc. To this day, sometimes I still feel like the least artsy/creative person alive.
Well, Pierce was right. I did have terrible handwriting. Still do, actually. But, I was wrong. I was wrong to take this tiny comment and twist it into something that hindered me for so long. I am creative, and writing is my outlet for that creativity.
For the first time in my entire life, I have too many ideas. Normally, I have a bunch of ideas and i’m like “eh” “no” “nah” “maybe” and I end up choosing the one stand out idea that I had. But, this time is different. I love them all. I’m passionate about sexual health, mental health, celebrating love, preventing sexual violence, and speaking my truth. SO, why is this such a predicament? How could having too many passions ever be a bad thing? Well, it is a bad thing right now. I cannot decide which project to pursue as my capstone project.
Giving my pitches to the class might’ve been helpful if I wasn’t in a room full of creative geniuses that offered up ideas and suggestions, making me love each of my ideas even more.
That might’ve come out wrong, so I’ll explain further. Giving my pitches to the class helped me to develop each of my ideas, providing me a launch point to take each one further. However, it did not help me to choose which idea I should move forward with. I think that I’ve narrowed it down to two. Have I really, though? When will T make me decide?
I know it will all work out, but until then I’ll keep writing. I’ll keep writing up little snippets for each idea, hoping one of them will jump off the page at me, screaming, “PICK ME, PICK ME, I’M THE BETTER OPTION!!!!”
Until next time,