Being back to Turin (Italy), the city where I grew up and lived most of my life, is a nice feeling. It’s lovely seeing my parents, my siblings and my friends after many months. Sometimes I wished I lived a little bit closer, so I could go come back to Turin more often. I don’t really get homesick, but sometimes during the school year I cannot wait to be back here. But then when I start hearing the same old conversations and arguments, I want to be back to the States.
As I’m approaching graduation, my heart feels divided. When you live in two countries, sometimes you end up not knowing where home is anymore. Now that I’m here, I wonder is Turin is still my home. I love this country, I love Turin, but I don’t know if I want to come back here after graduation. I’ve been enjoying my life in the States so far, and I don’t feel like I’m ready to go back to Italy yet. While driving around Turin, I look around and I ask myself if this is the place I want to be. I think my heart is saying not now. Maybe in the future it will be again, because I do see myself coming back to Italy later in my life.
For some reasons, not knowing where my home is anymore makes me feel like a tree that is losing some of its roots. I don’t feel fully at home in Turin anymore, and I don’t feel fully at home in the States yet. This is an uncomfortable feeling sometimes, but perhaps I must lose some roots to let new ones grow. But this time I feel like they’re not growing in a particular place, they’re growing inside of me. Perhaps home is not a place, it’s more a feeling I cultivate inside. Home is rooting in my own self and feel like I belong wherever I go. There’s no place I cannot call home as long as I have myself.
This is my last post of the semester. I hope everyone is feeling at home, no matter where they are.
Cheers from Italy.
P.S.: When you come to Italy, make sure that on top of seeing Rome, Florence and Venice, you’re making a quick trip to Turin. It’s worthwhile, I promise.