Looking ahead

If I could only mention one thing that this class has taught me it would be to give myself permission to write (thank you, Ray). It might sound banal, but this is something I needed to learn because I’ve always believed that if I wasn’t an expert in something I was not supposed to write anything. I’ve always thought I was writing for the last word, whereas now I know I’m writing to participate and add something valuable, even if I’m not an expert.

This is something I’m taking with me, in my writing as well as in my life. Sometimes I’ll stay silent not because I’ve nothing to say, but because I also believe I need to be an expert. I don’t give myself permission to have a voice. But this project has given me the confidence to talk about my passions, even if I might not know everything. So this will be my New Year’s resolution: give myself permission to have a voice.

I think one of the first steps I need to take is writing more and writing differently. Even though I write frequently on my journal, I want to do more. I need to take the journal with me and write more spontaneously. Usually I’ll wait until I have some free time to write, but sometimes that doesn’t happen for a few days. I want to change that. I want to write when I’m on the bus or when I’m waiting on someone. I also want to write using different modes. I always write in a letter format, Dear Oriana (name of my journal)…. I want to change that. I want to start writing poems again, stories or writing even only a thought that passed through my mind. I want to add images and drawings and give my journal more life.

Another step I need to take is reading more, because it will allow me to learn from other people how they give themselves permission to have a voice. I always do a reading challenge every year and this 2019 I had the goal of reading 20 books. I’m at 14 right now and I don’t think I’ll be able to finish the book I’m reading plus reading 5 books in the time remaining. I want to get to that 20 next year. I know, I can talk myself out of it very easily (I don’t have time) but then my phone report tells me every week that I spend on average 2h on my phone every day, so if I cut down on that damn iPhone a little bit I’ll be able to it. I also want to read different genres of books, because I usually read books about psychology/spirituality and not a lot of other stuff.

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