Well, I guess my project is done

The title of this post really encapsulates all of my feelings towards this project. It is finally done. No more stress about if I have any idea what I’m doing or if somebody is going to read it and be offended. No more staying up until 2 am thinking about the project, but not really doing anything.

I think that I will kind of miss the stress this project gave me. This was the first time that I was REALLY supposed to think about something and turn it into my own. While part of me hopes I will never need to do anything like it again, the other part of me knows that the challenge was worth it.

To be honest, I am not sure how often I will be looking back at this project. I think this is mainly because it took so much out of me, but also largely because I don’t want to look back and see that after all that work I mistyped something or used the wrong word. I am proud of my work but I also think that distance always makes you fonder and the less I look at it now the more I will like it later. Or maybe I will never look at it again. I really can’t say for certain.

The next few hours I spend on this project will be solely focused on my annotated bibliography. The thing that I have enjoyed the most about this project and the work put in it is that there was actually a climactic ending. Showing the work to my peers made me proud of what I had done, which is a very different feeling than merely turning in a paper and receiving a grade. I didn’t do this project for a grade. I did the project for myself and that is something I am going to remember fondly about my senior year of college.

Capstone Showcase

Last week I had the opportunity to share my work with my peers and reunite with my Gateway pals. I got to show off my work to the world…. and I was terrified that my project wouldn’t make sense to anybody but me and my supportive workshop group. That being said, I worked until the last minute possible. I was unable to attend that showcase when I produced my Gateway project so I didn’t know what to expect. Was I going to be sharing with my class? Or forced to stand in front of the entire room and give a speech on my project? This uncertainty kept me up through the night as I tweaked animations and rewrote and rewrote until I ended up leaving when I already had at the beginning.

Needless to say, the showcase was so much better than I had expected. Not only was I able to learn about other people’s projects, but I was also able to finally show off the hard work that I have done this entire semester. I even volunteered to be the first one at my table to go– when walking into that showcase I would have preferred to hide behind somebody with my laptop closed.

As I presented my project I could sense a sincere interest in the topic and a fascination with the work that I had done. This surprised me because I the entire time completing this project I wondered if there was a single person in the planet who would even be remotely interested in the topic that wasn’t me. I am so glad that I was proved wrong.

Capstone Challenge Journal 2: Approaching the End

As the semester draws closer and closer to an end, I can’t help being overwhelmed with the future. So instead of thinking about that, I decided it would be less stressful to just be overwhelmed with the project. This has also proven to be difficult and unpleasant at times.

Unfortunately for me, I am the type of person who likes to work under pressure. To make myself feel better about it, the phrase “diamonds form out of pressure” always pops into my head when I have 5 hours left to complete a project that I could have given myself way more time to do. Lucky (and unluckily) for me, this project is not something that I have had the opportunity to wait to do. Maybe that’s the reason I constantly think about what progress I have made and where I want to see it end up in the future.

Throughout this process, my opinion on my topic has changed and my frustration has grown with both the topic and my progress. I have been talking about heroism and researching tons of people who have been called heroes and who have actually done heroic things, and this has made me more and more frustrated about who gets the title. I think that I have taken a large amount of this frustration out on the introduction of my project which has turned into more of an “I hate this word and never want to think about it again” than a “welcome to my project so glad you’re here let’s take this journey together.” That being said, this is something that I plan on focusing on this weekend. As the due date looms over my head, and my frustration is at its peak, I am taking a day off from thinking about my project (if I can help it) and hopefully coming back with a new and fresh start tomorrow when I spend the 4 hour block I set aside for myself working on my writing. This type of time blocking is unlike me, but we’ll see how it goes. Wish me luck!

Blog Post #1: Everything happening at once

Senioritis has hit. Well, I wouldn’t exactly call what is going on in my life senioritis. It is more like i-have-too-much-to-do-and-need-a-job-and-also-have-class-and-want-to-spend-time-with-friends-itis. Add all of that to being super sick last week, you have a stressed out girl unable to see the light at the end of this project. After multiple hours spent stressing out about what I should title my project. I elected on “American Heroes” because I just couldn’t bear to think about it more. After publishing and submitting my site, I realize my new group is going to have no idea what my project is about because that title does less than encompass what I am trying to say.

More or less, I am trying to understand the term “heroism” in general by applying it to the way the definition has shifted in the military. Unfortunately, the current title I have in place does less than explain that. As does my hours upon hours of research. I think that I have hit a road block that includes being nervous about creating a website and editing my work that I can’t even say I am totally confident in yet.

My goal for this week is to sit down and write. Write what I think. Write what I don’t think I need to talk about but may find necessary later on. The goal is to finish all research and completing my first drafts by Monday… which is closely approaching.. which is scaring the crap out of me. It’s okay though, I’ll get there. For now– I will continue to fight through my 15 pages of research to get back to the reason I started the project at all, to get a grip on what a hero even is.

Personal Essay

Summary of Stage One:

For this semesters experiment process I elected to rewrite a blog post I wrote this past summer. This blog post was part of a weekly blog post requirement assigned by Michigan LS&A in order to receive a scholarship for my summer internship. This was not my best piece of writing and I think it heavily had to do with the fact that I had a time limit and it was restrictive to what they wanted. I am interested in exploring this piece of writing in a personal way, which I can discuss my emotions more as well as go into more detail. I think it would be interesting to see this piece as a personal narrative that really displays my summer in Croatia.

How to Write a Personal Narrative:

Honestly, when I decided that writing a personal narrative was the approach I was going to take to tell my story of my summer in Croatia I really didn’t know what exactly I was going to do. I knew that a personal narrative required some sort of story about my life, but wasn’t sure exactly what I was going to need to do. According to online sources, this is what I should do:

  1. Focus on a memorable event/moment in my life
    1. While Wikihow suggests I think about a time I ‘struggled with body image in high school’ or ‘my disastrous 15th birthday party’, I have decided to stick to my topic. I do think this advice is important because it is easier to focus on one thing than try and explore multiple things for a shorter narrative (https://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Personal-Narrative)
  2. Include Certain Elements
    1. Characters: ME!
    2. Tense
    3. Voice
    4. Conflict
    5. Descriptive language
    6. Make your point
      1. This is the most important advice because it states that I shouldn’t say something basic, but I should really look into the story I am trying to tell and the most important aspect of that story (https://www.thoughtco.com/how-to-write-a-personal-narrative-1856809)
    7. Body Paragraphs
      1. “Show, Don’t Tell”
        1. Good story telling includes details that help the reader understand exactly what the writer experienced, and this website suggests that I explain all of my senses not just what I saw (https://www.sbcc.edu/clrc/files/wl/downloads/StructureofaPersonalNarrativeEssay.pdf)
      2. Passage of Time
        1. I am going to try and incorporate what happened over time, and not just over one day. I plan to discuss my experiences and interweave the important moments amongst my overall feelings
      3. Making the introduction interesting
        1. Give the readers the hook: I have to make my essay very interesting because it is important that I get people to actually read it, and want to read it 

The part that I am most worried about is the conclusion of my essay. I think that it is really difficult to write a conclusion to something that is about my life, as it is completely concluding my experience. That is something I am most worried about but am excited to tackle.

Hey its me, Emily.

Hi, I’m Emily Beaver. Yes my last name is an animal, yes it is kind of funny (at least to me). I have gotten more beaver related presents in my life than I could count, and my middle school gym teacher couldn’t tell my sisters and me apart so we all went by ‘The Beav’. I have completely accepted the last name as something that represents me, and my username in middle school for every platform of social media was beaverchick2. It doesn’t make too much sense, because I am the oldest and I don’t even like the number 2, but I thought that it flowed well so that’s just what it is.

Recently, I began to have a quarter-life crisis as I turned 21 on Tuesday (woo!) and realized that I really can be categorized as an adult now. Not that I consider myself an adult, but I am legally one. I looked at who I already was, and what I wanted to become. Mainly though, I wanted to continue to do things that made me smile and laugh. I never want to take life to seriously!

Currently:

  • I’m a Junior at studying Communications, Digital Studies, and Writing
  • I am from Westhampton Beach, NY
  • I have twin sisters who are 14 months younger than me (Irish triplets according to my mom)
  • My dog just got ACL surgery (yes that’s right, I said my dog)
  • I was the tallest kid in my elementary school (5’2) and now the shortest of my friends (5’2)
  • I have watched Grey’s Anatomy 2 times fully through, and plan on starting again soon
  • I spend much of my day worrying about summer internships

 

‘Adult Me’ wants to:

  • Keep watching Grey’s Anatomy until I memorize the words (jk… but I’ll watch again for sure)
  • Have brunch once a week
  • Dance around my kitchen
  • Work hard enough that I am proud of myself but not hard enough that I become focused on my career and not my personal life
  • Keep my college and high school friends in my life besides just liking each other’s Facebook posts
  • Eat cake for breakfast sometimes
  • Buy my dream car
  • Live in NYC

Basically, I have a lot of things I want to do when I am older but I want to continue to be the fun loving person I am now. We’ll see, I’ve only been 21 for 2 full days now.