I find it can be really hard for me to decide when something is done. A homework assignment, a paper, an exam—whatever it is, I have a hard time letting go of it. Sometimes I bump into time constraints that tell me it just has to be done, but oftentimes, when it’s left up to me, I check and recheck. When I’m writing an essay, I could read it five times after I’ve decided it’s done and still find new things to change.
As I’ve gotten more confident in my writing abilities throughout the years, it’s become a little easier to deal with this impulse. I still don’t know when to say I’m done, but I know when to decide to call it quits, so to say. When I’ve done enough good work that it’s not worth poring over and over it to make tiny changes.
However, I feel that this might come as a challenge to me in my Capstone project. Right now, my essays are written and my website is constructed. I’m getting into the stage over the next few days where I edit my essays and do some deconstructing and rebuilding on my website.
I can’t be sure yet, but I’m preeetty confident that I’m going to have a hard time calling it done. Unlike other projects, there isn’t an exact rubric I can compare this work to. And, unlike other (many) projects, this topic is personal to me and I’m really invested in how it turns out. This project isn’t about the grade, it’s about the work. I want it to be something I’m proud of, that I’m excited to show people. Which I think makes it hard to know when I’m happy enough. Is there a point where I can call it done?
Maybe there won’t come a point where I’m 100% satisfied. Maybe 100% satisfied doesn’t exist, and it’s just a matter of figuring out when it’s good enough that I actively want to show people who have asked me about it. And maybe not being 100% satisfied is something I should take as a sign, something that means that there’s more to explore here and that I’m not done writing, even if I’m done with this assignment.
The capstone project has come to mean a lot to me. It was a little scary and overwhelming when we were in the early stages of proposing and mocking up. It’s a little scary and overwhelming now, but in a new way. It’s strange to find your heart in something that started off as a prompt and a lot of questions. Maybe when I’m done it’ll mean done for now, and that’s okay. But I do have to figure out when to at least call it done for now.