Know the song “Train Kept a-Rollin'” by Aerosmith? Yea, well, that song does NOT describe me right now. I’m starting to burn out on my project…which sounds like such a whiny complaint, but it’s true. Lately, I just can’t bring myself to care about working on it all of the time.
Last month, I did small portions of work every day. I was on a roll, and things were going very well. Of course, I was working on a part of the project that necessitated daily work (the poetry journal, for those familiar with what I’m doing), so it was easier to stay focused. Reading and doing research such a chore at that point either, because I was in the process of figuring out how I would use it. I was also so deep in the process of preparing for and taking grad school auditions that I was used to having my nose to the grindstone.
Now, I have a few things contributing to my lack of motivation:
1. I’m feeling senioritis. I never thought I would get it, but I did. It doesn’t help that I’ve gotten scholarship offers from a few grad schools and that I’m trying to figure out where to go next year.
2. I just want to practice all of the time. I am feeling really motivated for some auditions and stuff coming up, and I miss working on solo repertoire just for fun. I want that time back.
3. I miss reading for pleasure. I have so many freaking books on my shelves, and in my Kindle library, that I have not had time to read because I have been doing research all of the time.
4. The weather is getting nicer and I want to stay outside a bunch.
5. Summer is calling my name, especially since I’ve just committed to return to the Chautauqua Institution from late June through August. That orchestra is so much fun to play with.
6. I’ve met someone I really like, and spending time with her is fantastically fun.
7. The second season of Daredevil is out now and the first DLC package for Fallout 4 comes out on Tuesday. Crap.
Okay, I think that’s mostly it. Are they all ridiculous things to be complaining about? Yes. Am I just whining and being insufferable? Yes. Do I care about either of those things? No.
Anyway, if any of you have some motivational advice or are struggling with similar issues, let me know! I’ll take any and all advice.