I feel ashamed and rather reluctant to admit it, but I am indeed what people classify as a Grammar Nazi. There is an unparalleled joy that I receive from reading a piece of prose with flawless grammar, and also an unparalleled anger that bubbles inside of me when I spot an error in a published novel (I mean come on, these things go through rounds of editing, don’t they?).
That being said, I am not claiming perfection. I know firsthand how easy it is to miss a typo or to forget a comma in a paper. But, there are a few grammar flaws for which I show no mercy:
The use of ‘these ones’ and ‘those ones’ instead of ‘these’ or ‘those’
- I must have inherited my hatred for these two phrases from my mother, seeing as this is her biggest pet peeve. My skin crawls whenever I hear someone, especially a professional use the phrase because it in unnecessarily wordy and definitely not grammatically correct. I once came across the phrase in a book and refused to read the rest (yeah, I’m that serious about it).
‘A whole nother’… what the heck is a ‘nother’? Another whole is more like it.
- Just as I am typing out this blog post, that irritating red squiggly line has made its mark beneath the word that I hesitate to type again. “Nother” is not, nor should it ever be, accepted by the dictionary. It is not a quantifiable amount and it is most certainly not a recognized word in the English language.
On the other hand, I could go on and on about aspects of grammar that I love. For the sake of your time and sanity, though, I will stick to just one. The comma. I love the comma key more than any other key on the keyboard and more than any other character on the page. Commas make writing sound like speaking, and that is why I appreciate their presence so much. They may be small, but their presence is significant. You, comma, will always hold a special place in my heart.